:)Gazal: 2
DeewarO-Dar the, chat thi, vo acha makaan tha
Do chaar teeliyOn pe hi kitna guman tha.
Jub tak ki dil mein teri yaadein jawan thiN
ChoTe se ek ghar mein saara jahan tha.
ShabdOn ke teer choDe gaye hum pe is tarah
Har zaKhm ka hamare dil par nishan tha.
Tanha nahin hai tu hi yahan aur hain bahut
Tere na mere sar pe koi saybaan tha.
Koi nahin tha Devi museebat mein mere saath
Bas main, mera muqadar aur aasman tha.
Devi devi ji
aadab .
aap ki gazal dekhi , bahot mahzooz huwa , keya tewar hain , keya laheja hai . waah waah ,
DeewarO-Dar the, chat thi, vo acha makaan tha
Do chaar teeliyOn pe hi kitna guman tha
gazal ka matla pad>ha tou pahela misra saaf saaf laga . yani dewaar aur dar (darwazah) chat aur munasib makan ki maoujudgi ki baat hai , lekin cani misre me aap ne teeliyo.n ki baat ki ,jo mujhey uljhan me daal gaein , yahaan aap ne tilliyo'n ka istemaal kiyo'n kiya , main samajhney se qasir hoon , wazahat chahoonga ..
2:-
Jub tak ki dil mein teri yaadein jawan thiN
ChoTe se ek ghar mein saara jahan tha.
aap agar pahela misra yo'n kahtein tou wazn me hota ..
jab tak ke dil me aap ki yadein jawan thein
aur dusra misra yo'n hota tou wazn mokammal ho jata
chote se eak ghar me bhi sara jahaan thaa
yani dono misrey yon kahey jaein tou ....
jab tak ke dil me aap ki yadein jawan thein
chote se eak ghar me bhi sara jahaan thaa .
3:-
ShabdOn ke teer choDe gaye hum pe is tarah
Har zaKhm ka hamare dil par nishan tha.
shabdo'n ke teer chor gaey ham pe iss tarah
har zakhm ka hamare hi dil par nishan thaa
sirf do ack_char bad>ha diye main ne , yani ( hi) ko wahaan rakh diya .jis se wazn me misra aa gaya ..
Tanha nahin hai tu hi yahan aur hain bahut
Tere na mere sar pe koi saybaan tha.
iss sher me aap bayek waqt do do zamano'n me maoujood hain ,pahley aap kah rahi hain ke tu hi tanha nahi hai aur bhi log hain
aur dusrey misrey me kaha ke
tere na mere sar pe koi aasmaan thaa ,
yahaan lafz . haey aur thaa ki kafiyet aur manwiyet ko zahn me laaein tou baat wazah ho jaey gi ,
maqta :-
Koi nahin tha Devi museebat mein mere saath
Bas main, mera muqadar aur aasman tha.
cani misra be wazn ho gaya hai .
agar yo'n kar liya jaey tou baat bhi puri ho jaey gi , jo ke aap kahena chahti hain aur wazn bhi bahal ho jaey ga
Koi nahin tha Devi museebat mein mere saath
bas main , mera naseeb , faqat aasmaan thaa .
umeed hai meri kisi baat ka aap bura hargiz nahi maneingi ,
aap ke jawab ka muntazir rahoonga
mukhlis
dilshadnazmi