maya
rukn
Posts: 143
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Post by maya on Jul 7, 2007 10:51:06 GMT 5
"KHALI MAKAAN" Meray Wajood main aik khali maakan abad hay Jis kay kamroun main main din bhar chalti phirti hun... yahan tak kay gahri raat ki neand main be main eskay dar o dewaar pay likhi tahreer parhti hun bahir kay sab shoor yahan dabb jatay hain bas main apni dabi dabi awaz aur khabi Cheakhoun ki goonj sunti hun phir Es ghar ki boseedgy main Meri Zindgy sematnay lagti hay... fatimah
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Post by Sukhanwar on Jul 7, 2007 17:14:33 GMT 5
fatimah aap bohat din baad koi nazm laain khushi hui is nazm ko parh kar mazmoon bohat munfarid hy is ka khaas taur par aakhri do lines bohat umda hain thanx razi
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Post by Rafi Tabasum on Jul 8, 2007 6:16:28 GMT 5
Wah Fatimah j8i bohat Khoob
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maya
rukn
Posts: 143
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Post by maya on Jul 11, 2007 10:42:12 GMT 5
Razi Sahib Aur Rafi sahib apki hosla afzai ka bay had shukria waslam
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Post by kanwal on Sept 12, 2007 0:06:41 GMT 5
bohat khoob maya sis ,... yeh daad ke phool aap k liye ,...
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maya
rukn
Posts: 143
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Post by maya on Sept 28, 2007 11:11:11 GMT 5
bohat Shukria kanwal Aapa
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Post by subhanoor on Sept 28, 2007 11:51:25 GMT 5
bohat khubbb fatimah keep it up daad hazir hai app k ley
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maya
rukn
Posts: 143
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Post by maya on Oct 20, 2007 18:59:08 GMT 5
Subahanoor bohat shukria aapka. waslam Fatimah
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Post by khalid on Nov 2, 2007 22:50:13 GMT 5
achhi koshish hai fatimah saaheba! mashq jaari rakhye!
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Post by Atif Mirza on Nov 3, 2007 13:55:07 GMT 5
Kia yeh nazm behr maiN likhnay say kissi nay manaa kia hai aap ko! Agar aap bahr say aajiz haiN tau Nasr likhkha lijiay hum aap per daad-o-tehseen kay dongray barsaaiN gey. Mujhay khali khayal achcha honay say ittefaq nahiN. Achcha khana kai achchi cheezoN say mil kar banta hai. Ab yeh nahiN ho sakta keh achcha gosht tau daal daiN magar masalay bay-andaza daal diyay jaeN tau khana mazay daar nahiN banay ga.
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Post by Sukhanwar on Nov 4, 2007 2:25:12 GMT 5
Kia yeh nazm behr maiN likhnay say kissi nay manaa kia hai aap ko! Agar aap bahr say aajiz haiN tau Nasr likhkha lijiay hum aap per daad-o-tehseen kay dongray barsaaiN gey. Mujhay khali khayal achcha honay say ittefaq nahiN. Achcha khana kai achchi cheezoN say mil kar banta hai. Ab yeh nahiN ho sakta keh achcha gosht tau daal daiN magar masalay bay-andaza daal diyay jaeN tau khana mazay daar nahiN banay ga. aatif bhai itna tund o tayz tabsra na kijiay is board main jo log apni tehreerain paysh kartay hain humain unhain guide zaroor karna chaahiay magar is andaz main k un ki hosla shikni na ho faatima k haan khyaal hamaysha khoobsoorat hota hy magar unhon ny kabhi israar nahin kia k isy paaband ya azaad nazm tasleem kia jaay internet ki yeh dunya aik open forum hy aur is ka maqsad yeh hy k naay log is kaarwan main shamil hon kuch seekhain aur aagay barhain..aap ki baat drust k har baat behr main ki jaa sakti hy magar is main waqt lagta hy na thanx razi
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Post by Atif Mirza on Nov 4, 2007 11:32:07 GMT 5
Theek kaha aap nay, Razi Bhai! Magar maiN kia karooN nasri shaeri karnay waloN kay hathoN Paband shaeri ki tazleel (brijinder's post) kay baad maiN iss baat ko dil per lay gaya tha. MaiN sirf khayal ki taaref iss liay nahiN karooN ga keh achcha masala aik buray bawarchi kay haath lagta hai tau uss ka satya naas ho jata hai! MaiN khali khayal kay peechay kaisay bhagooN jabkeh uss ki presentation hi buri ho. Bahar haal iss ka hal yeh hai keh maiN kisi nasri shaeri per bhi tabsra nah karooN aur iss tarah ki nigarishaat per khamoshi ikhtiyar kar liya karooN. KaroRoN shaer paband shaeri kar rahay haiN tau aik ko kia problem hai. Fatimah sahiba say maazrat kay saath, mera matlab unn ki dil aazari nahiN magar, aik khuli baat batana hai. MaiN phir az-hadd adab kay saath yeh arz kar raha hooN keh aap mohtarma pehlay Nasri nazm likh kar koshish karaiN ussay behr ya wazan maiN lanay ki iss tarah aap kuchh arsay maiN iss qabil ho jaeN gi keh aap bhi bazabita shaer tasleem ki jaeN. Meri tamaam naik tamannaeN aap kay saath haiN. Razi bhai! nasri shaeri per yeh mera aakhri post hai!
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Post by Sukhanwar on Nov 4, 2007 13:59:05 GMT 5
Razi bhai! nasri shaeri per yeh mera aakhri post hai! hum aap ko aakhri khat likhnay kahan dain gy yeh misra to aap ny suna hi ho ga aakhri baar kai baar milay hain tujh say thanx razi
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maya
rukn
Posts: 143
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Post by maya on Nov 4, 2007 20:46:35 GMT 5
Khalid Mehmood Sahib,Razi Sahib hosla afzai ka shukria aur Atif Mriza Sahib apka be bohat shukria. aap say ek guzarish hay kay agr apkay pas kuch hay.ap nay sekha hay.ya khuda nay apko salaheaat di hay.aur ap samjhatay hain k koi doja ap jitna nai janta tu us ko sekhaeya,batlaeya mgr yea jan lejeay, kay eska aik tareeqa hota hay.zindgy kay har ek mammaly main esko pash e nazr rakhaien gay tu bohat sy logoun ki dil azaari nahi ho gy.aur apka elam be apkay leya na'fay sabit ho ga.
waslam
Fatimah
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Post by Atif Mirza on Nov 5, 2007 15:32:48 GMT 5
Fatima Jee! MaiN khud abhi seekh raha hooN. Al-batta aap ko mashwara yeh day raha hooN keh aap shaeri paRhaiN aur jo likhna chahaiN ussay nasr maiN likhaiN. Phir uss kay wazan ko durust karnay ki koshish karaiN. Yeh aap ko khud koshish karni paRay gi. Mujh say senior shuaraa yahaN mojood haiN unn say tareeqa pooch kar dekhiaN woh kia farmatay haiN.
Khair Andaish
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