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Post by khalid on Jan 20, 2008 23:07:35 GMT 5
Naam meira jab chhaNd pey tum ne ker k ishaara likh’kha tha maiN ney hijr ke toofaanoN meiN tumko sahaara likh’kha tha
Do dunyaaeN apney apney khaul k ander zinda haiN Deikh k ham donoN ko kuch ney chaaNd sitaara likh’kha tha
Khojney waalo qatl ko meire, is takheer ka kya matlab? Doobney k asbaab meiN jab main ney hi kinaara likh’kha tha
Ferq hai itna booRha ho jaaney per tanha choR gaey Ehl e maghrib ne bhi jin ko raaj dulaara likh’kha tha
Suntey aaey us qaatil ney kitney gher be noor kiye Jis ki maN ney qabr pe uski aaNkh ka taara likh’kha tha
Uss faulaad k but per bhi jab beeti, wo bhi toot gaya Wo jis ney tum ko merham, mujhko aNgaara likh’kha tha
Ham ney toofaN ke aaney ki gunjaaesh na choree thee Apney taiiN to soch k jeevan manzer saara likh’kha tha
Us sey ta’alluq koii nahiN tha phir bhi kaaNdha deine ko “ker leina do chaar qadam takleef gavaara” likh’kha tha
main ne likha be kaif bahaaraN hai us bin, lekin us ney pat jheR mausam bin meirey rangeen nazaara likh’kha tha
mit gaey kitney hi aamir, tareekh bataati hai, jab bhi deevaaroN per khalqat ney khooN se naq’qaara likh’kha tha
naama ber kambakht ne muddat baad diya naama, jis per aik hoN ham kaisey, batlaao, tumne, khaudaara, likh’kha tha
tum ney jis masoom ko pakRa, jis ko dehshet gerd likha saarey shehr k laachaaroN ne usko hi chaara likh’kha tha
waqt e nazaa, jaatey jaatey tehreer sirhaane choR gaii “ab khaalid k jeetey jee ho ga na guzaara” likh’kha tha[/b]
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Post by Atif Mirza on Jan 21, 2008 19:29:36 GMT 5
Khalid Saheb! MaiN tau yeh sub peRh kar gung sa reh gaya hooN, Yaqeen kijiay keh tabsray kay liay alfaz nahiN mil rahay haiN. Aik aik she'r qabil-e-ghaur aur qabil-e-ta'areef. Kis kis sher ko yahaN hawalay kay liay likh'kha jaay. Poori ghazal hi qabil-e-daad. Go keh maiN tifl-e-maktab hooN, aap kay saamnay maiN umr aur tajarbay maiN aap say kafi chhota hooN. Aap ki shaeri maiN suqam talash karna meray liay suraj ko charagh dikhanay kay mutradif hai. Aur yeh bhi hai keh meri observation ghalat bhi ho sakti hai. Faani hawalay say aik dau ma'amooli si observations haiN, agar ijazat ho tau arz karooN.
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Post by khalid on Jan 21, 2008 21:43:57 GMT 5
Khalid Saheb! MaiN tau yeh sub peRh kar gung sa reh gaya hooN, Yaqeen kijiay keh tabsray kay liay alfaz nahiN mil rahay haiN. Aik aik she'r qabil-e-ghaur aur qabil-e-ta'areef. Kis kis sher ko yahaN hawalay kay liay likh'kha jaay. Poori ghazal hi qabil-e-daad. Go keh maiN tifl-e-maktab hooN, aap kay saamnay maiN umr aur tajarbay maiN aap say kafi chhota hooN. Aap ki shaeri maiN suqam talash karna meray liay suraj ko charagh dikhanay kay mutradif hai. Aur yeh bhi hai keh meri observation ghalat bhi ho sakti hai. Faani hawalay say aik dau ma'amooli si observations haiN, agar ijazat ho tau arz karooN. aapke alfaaz ne to aik dam aasmaan per cheRha diya! mujhey yaqeen hai k meiree umr aur tajreba aap se kahiN zyaada hai, lekin shayad shaairi kee umr kam hi ho. maiN ne apna pehla she'r 2003 maiN canada aa ker 54 saal ki umr meiN kaha tha. aur qetaat hi kehta raha hooN beishter. aajkal kuch waqt mayassar hai to mehnet shuru kee hai thoRi! ;D verna to 4 misroN sey zyaada ki takleef kabhi nahiN kerta tha.
janaab maiN hameisha sey tanqeed se seekhne ki koshish kerta hooN. aapko poori aazaadi hai. aik baat maiN arz karni chaahooN ga. wo yeh k maiN century to maar sakta hooN lekin tecnically paidal hooN. mujhey behr aur doosrey technica aspect ka bilkul idraak nahiN hai. sirf tasheeh kerva ker guzaara kerta raha hooN. aajkal to wo bhi choRey zamaana hua. ba qaul ustaad mujhey zaroorat nahiN hai phir bhee maiN to bhaii apney aap ko shaair maanta bhi nahiN hooN. sirf dil ki bhaRaas nikaalta hooN aur bus!
aapko jo kehna hai pehley hi keh deitey. bouncer paRy ga nahiN to duck kerna kaisey seekhooN ga!
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Post by Rafi Tabasum on Jan 21, 2008 21:53:36 GMT 5
Naam meira jab chhaNd pey tum ne ker k ishaara likh’kha tha maiN ney hijr ke toofaanoN meiN tumko sahaara likh’kha tha
Do dunyaaeN apney apney khaul k ander zinda haiN Deikh k ham donoN ko sab ney chaaNd sitaara likh’kha tha
Khojney waalo qatl ko meire, is takheer ka kya matlab? Doobney k asbaab meiN jab main ney hi kinaara likh’kha tha
Ferq hai itna booRha ho jaaney per tanha choR gaey Ehl e maghrib neb hi jin ko raaj dulaara likh’kha tha
Suntey aaey us qaatil ney kitney gher be noor kiye Jis ki maN ney qabr pe uski aaNkh ka taara likh’kha tha
Uss faulaad k but per bhi jab beeti, wo bhi toot gaya Wo jis ney tum ko merham, mujhko aNgaara likh’kha tha
Ham ney toofaN ke aaney ki gunjaaesh na choree thee Apney taiiN to soch k jeevan manzer saara likh’kha tha
Us sey ta’alluq koii nahiN tha phir bhi kaaNdha deine ko “ker leina do chaar qadam takleef gavaara” likh’kha tha
main ne likha be kaif bahaaraN hai us bin, lekin us ney pat jheR mausam bin meirey rangeen nazaara likh’kha tha
mit gaey kitney hi aamir, tareekh bataati hai, jab bhi deevaaroN per khalqat ney khooN se naq’qaara likh’kha tha
naama ber kambakht ne muddat baad diya naama, jis per aik hoN ham kaisey, batlaao, tumne, khaudaara, likh’kha tha
tum ney jis masoom ko pakRa, jis ko dehshet gerd likha saarey shehr k laachaaroN ne usko hi chaara likh’kha tha
waqt e nazaa, jaatey jaatey tehreer sirhaane choR gaii “ab khaalid k jeetey jee ho ga na guzaara” likh’kha tha sari ghazal khoobsoorat daad hazir hay Khalid sahib
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Post by khalid on Jan 21, 2008 23:49:02 GMT 5
bohot shukr guzaar hooN rafi sb hosla afzaii k liye!
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Post by waqaar on Jan 23, 2008 3:38:20 GMT 5
khaalid SaaHeb, soCh ko ubh~aarti huii ghazal. ik She'r meri soCh kay chodah tapak roShan ker gaYa "Suntey aaey us qaatil ney kitney gher be noor kiye Jis ki maN ney qabr pe uski aaNkh ka taara likh’kha tha" vaah! merii dilii daad hamaiShah ki t^arah say qabool kee jiYay waQaar
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Post by manu1979 on Jan 23, 2008 19:18:31 GMT 5
Naam meira jab chhaNd pey tum ne ker k ishaara likh’kha tha maiN ney hijr ke toofaanoN meiN tumko sahaara likh’kha tha
Do dunyaaeN apney apney khaul k ander zinda haiN Deikh k ham donoN ko sab ney chaaNd sitaara likh’kha tha
Khojney waalo qatl ko meire, is takheer ka kya matlab? Doobney k asbaab meiN jab main ney hi kinaara likh’kha tha
Ferq hai itna booRha ho jaaney per tanha choR gaey Ehl e maghrib ne bhi jin ko raaj dulaara likh’kha tha
Suntey aaey us qaatil ney kitney gher be noor kiye Jis ki maN ney qabr pe uski aaNkh ka taara likh’kha tha
Uss faulaad k but per bhi jab beeti, wo bhi toot gaya Wo jis ney tum ko merham, mujhko aNgaara likh’kha tha
Ham ney toofaN ke aaney ki gunjaaesh na choree thee Apney taiiN to soch k jeevan manzer saara likh’kha tha
Us sey ta’alluq koii nahiN tha phir bhi kaaNdha deine ko “ker leina do chaar qadam takleef gavaara” likh’kha tha
main ne likha be kaif bahaaraN hai us bin, lekin us ney pat jheR mausam bin meirey rangeen nazaara likh’kha tha
mit gaey kitney hi aamir, tareekh bataati hai, jab bhi deevaaroN per khalqat ney khooN se naq’qaara likh’kha tha
naama ber kambakht ne muddat baad diya naama, jis per aik hoN ham kaisey, batlaao, tumne, khaudaara, likh’kha tha
tum ney jis masoom ko pakRa, jis ko dehshet gerd likha saarey shehr k laachaaroN ne usko hi chaara likh’kha tha
waqt e nazaa, jaatey jaatey tehreer sirhaane choR gaii “ab khaalid k jeetey jee ho ga na guzaara” likh’kha tha [/b][/quote] aafreen aafreen.................khalid mahmood jee bahut bahut bahut hee khoob likha hai aap ne dil se mubaarakbaad qubool kare janaab is dilchasp kalaam par yunhee likhate rahe regards manu
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Post by khalid on Jan 23, 2008 21:49:18 GMT 5
khaalid SaaHeb, soCh ko ubh~aarti huii ghazal. ik She'r meri soCh kay chodah tapak roShan ker gaYa "Suntey aaey us qaatil ney kitney gher be noor kiye Jis ki maN ney qabr pe uski aaNkh ka taara likh’kha tha" vaah! merii dilii daad hamaiShah ki t^arah say qabool kee jiYay waQaar khush aamdeed waQaar!!
janaab aapki daad ke liye maiN bhi hameisha ki tarah mamnoon hooN. aur um'meed kerta hooN ke aapki daad hameisha meire kalaam ke ba maani honey per hi hotee hai ;D
khush rahye!
duaaoN k sath, khaalid.
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Post by khalid on Jan 23, 2008 21:55:08 GMT 5
Naam meira jab chhaNd pey tum ne ker k ishaara likh’kha tha maiN ney hijr ke toofaanoN meiN tumko sahaara likh’kha tha
Do dunyaaeN apney apney khaul k ander zinda haiN Deikh k ham donoN ko sab ney chaaNd sitaara likh’kha tha
Khojney waalo qatl ko meire, is takheer ka kya matlab? Doobney k asbaab meiN jab main ney hi kinaara likh’kha tha
Ferq hai itna booRha ho jaaney per tanha choR gaey Ehl e maghrib ne bhi jin ko raaj dulaara likh’kha tha
Suntey aaey us qaatil ney kitney gher be noor kiye Jis ki maN ney qabr pe uski aaNkh ka taara likh’kha tha
Uss faulaad k but per bhi jab beeti, wo bhi toot gaya Wo jis ney tum ko merham, mujhko aNgaara likh’kha tha
Ham ney toofaN ke aaney ki gunjaaesh na choree thee Apney taiiN to soch k jeevan manzer saara likh’kha tha
Us sey ta’alluq koii nahiN tha phir bhi kaaNdha deine ko “ker leina do chaar qadam takleef gavaara” likh’kha tha
main ne likha be kaif bahaaraN hai us bin, lekin us ney pat jheR mausam bin meirey rangeen nazaara likh’kha tha
mit gaey kitney hi aamir, tareekh bataati hai, jab bhi deevaaroN per khalqat ney khooN se naq’qaara likh’kha tha
naama ber kambakht ne muddat baad diya naama, jis per aik hoN ham kaisey, batlaao, tumne, khaudaara, likh’kha tha
tum ney jis masoom ko pakRa, jis ko dehshet gerd likha saarey shehr k laachaaroN ne usko hi chaara likh’kha tha
waqt e nazaa, jaatey jaatey tehreer sirhaane choR gaii “ab khaalid k jeetey jee ho ga na guzaara” likh’kha tha [/b][/quote] aafreen aafreen.................khalid mahmood jee bahut bahut bahut hee khoob likha hai aap ne dil se mubaarakbaad qubool kare janaab is dilchasp kalaam par yunhee likhate rahe regards manu [/quote] manu jee aadaab!
meiree kaavish ko pehlee mertaba peRhney ke lye aapka azhed mamnoon hooN! aur dheroN daad ke liye alag sey! peRhne waaley maujood hoN to valvala javaan rehta hai. aainda bhi aapke tabseroN ka intezaar rahey ga. aap ager kehte haiN to kuch inaayat keejey!!
khair andeish, khaalid!
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