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ghazal
Aug 7, 2008 16:15:18 GMT 5
Post by dr.najma shaheen on Aug 7, 2008 16:15:18 GMT 5
Kaisay ajeeb dukh dil main chuppa laiy hain
Dasht e mohabbat say gard e safar utha laiy hain
Dhoondatay hain apni zaat kay uljhay sirun ko
Anjaan raastun main khud ko bhula aiy hain
Dukhoon ki tapti dhoop , tanha yeh jism o jaan
Sukh baich kay zamaany kay dukh utha laiy hain
Hain uskay chehray kay rang sabhi tasweerun main
Ham uskay khayaal se jeevan mehka laiy hai
Lahjun main chubbhan tootay huay kaanch ki
Hoontun pay magar muskaan saja laiy hain
Ek alao sa dahekta hay kahin rooh kay undar
Waqt ki aag main khud ko jala aiy hain Gawaahi dain gay mere shabb kay yeh sittary
Tere yaad main her raat bitta aiy hain
Mahekta rahay sada tere aarzoo ka nashaiman
Ham jaisay tahi daaman yeh dua laiy hain
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ghazal
Aug 7, 2008 21:27:06 GMT 5
Post by Rafi Tabasum on Aug 7, 2008 21:27:06 GMT 5
Dr sahiba koshish jari rakhaiN
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ghazal
Sept 12, 2008 23:46:59 GMT 5
Post by Sukhanwar on Sept 12, 2008 23:46:59 GMT 5
achi koshish kar rahi hain aap thanx razi
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zaki
sukhanshanas
Posts: 446
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ghazal
May 2, 2009 17:25:23 GMT 5
Post by zaki on May 2, 2009 17:25:23 GMT 5
Bahut khoobsorat sharing hai Najma Sahiba ... Sada Khush raheay ...
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ghazal
May 11, 2009 6:38:42 GMT 5
Post by naheedv on May 11, 2009 6:38:42 GMT 5
Najma Shaheen Sahiba,
aap ki ye ghazal parh kar kuch baateN zehn meN aayeeN tau soch unheN aap se share kar liyaa jaaye.
1. ap ki ghazal ki qawaafi haiN: chupaa, uthaa, duaa, manaa, bhulaa etc. in sab ke saath aap ne aik aur qaafiya iste'maal kiyaa hai aur voh hai "mehkaa" tau arz hai ke "mehkaa" yahaaN fit naheeN hotaa hai. aap yaa tau ye qaafiya badal leN yaa phir ye sher ghaza se nikaal deN.
2. choonke aap shaayad nau aamoz hain shaairi meN isi liye behr/wazn ki ghalatiyaN hain. iss ke liye aik mashwarah hai ke yaa tau asaatazah kaa kalaam paRhen yaa phir kisi se islah leN taa ke behr par aap kaa haath saaf ho sake.
meri koshish ho gee ke jitni madad main kar sakti hooN iss silsile meN, aap ki zaroor karooN gee. aap apnaa kaam jaari rakhiye.
shukriya Naheed
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