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GHAZAL
Jul 15, 2008 13:29:28 GMT 5
Post by sumanshah on Jul 15, 2008 13:29:28 GMT 5
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GHAZAL
Jul 16, 2008 0:39:06 GMT 5
Post by Sukhanwar on Jul 16, 2008 0:39:06 GMT 5
saman ssahiba aap ki ghazal parhi khoobsoorat ashaar hain aik do jaga kuch aghlaat hain jo typing k doran ho gaain teesra shair khudaya ab duaaon main mayri kuch to asar day day
is main lafz mayri nahin meri ho ga is main yeh ka istamaal ghalat hay
is say agla shair ab agar tum bhi chaahon gy to main wapis na aaon gi drust yoon ho ga agar ab tum bhi chaaho gay to main wapis na aaon gi
aik aur guzaarish k aap image paste karti hain to saath main roman main bhi ghazal type kar dia karain hamaray baaz member yeh rasm ul khat nahi parh saktay is k ilaawa baaz mumalik main image block hy aur post khali nazar aati hay thanx k aap nay apnay board ko apnay kalaam sy saja dia hy razi
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GHAZAL
Jul 24, 2008 12:54:16 GMT 5
Post by Atif Mirza on Jul 24, 2008 12:54:16 GMT 5
Suman Ji! Bahut umda ghazal kahee hai aap nay. DHeroN mann daad qabool kijiay.
Daad kay baad agar naagawaar-e-khatir na ho tau fanni hawalay say kuchh arz karooN:-
Aap ki ghazal ki bahr hai Behr-e-Hazaj (Musamman Salim).
Mufaa'eelun------ Mufaa'eelun------ Mufaa'eelun------ Mufaa'eelun Mufaa'eelun------ Mufaa'eelun------ Mufaa'eelun------ Mufaa'eelun
Hai kitnay raa--z posheeda------ Khuda ki iss---- nawazish mai Sitam shaamil--karam kay saa--th daikha tay-- z baarish mai
Issi tarah tamaam ghazal ki taqtee karnay say ehsaas hota hai keh aakhri dau ashaar kay biltarteeb misraa-e-saani aur misraa-e-oolaa behr say kharij ho rahay haiN aur itnay bhi nahiN keh murammat mumkin na ho.
Aap nay kuchh aisay likha hai.
Ab agar tum bhi chaho gay tau maiN wapis na aaooN gi Nikal aayee hooN itni door maiN tairi khawaahish maiN
Iss sher maiN aik durustgi Razi Sahib nay tajweez ki hai uss kay mutabiq:-
Agar ab tum bhi chaho gay tau maiN wapis na aaooN gi Nikal aayee hooN itni door maiN bus tairi khwaahish maiN
Doosray misray maiN lafz "BUS" ka izafa kia hai tau wazan durust ho gaya hai, aap koi aur munaasib lafz bhi laga sakti haiN. Aik ghalati aur hai jiss kay baaray maiN arz kar dooN keh fi zamana ussay kuchh sharaa ghalati nahiN samajhtay. Laikin yeh fanni nukta-e-nazar say ghalati hai. Aap ki iss sher kay misraa-e-oolaa maiN lafz "na" kub ya cut kay wazan per aa raha hai. Baat yeh qabil-e-zikr hai keh "Na", "keh" waghaira ki "hay" "Haa-e-Makhfi" hai jo likhnay maiN nazar tu aati hai magar paRhi nahiN jaati aur taqtee say kharij hoti hai. Iss ka koi hul fil haal tau koi nahin bataa sakta, phir kabhi iss per ghaur kar kay durustgi tajweez karooN ga.
Ab aaiay maqtay ki jaanib:-
JunooN gum ho---- chuka hai waq-----t ki aaNdhi---maiN ab Summan Lagay haiN woh---- abhi mairi---- wafaa ki aa-----zmaa'ish maiN
Misraa-e-oolaa maiN aap ka takhallus bay wazan hai. Agar issay Summan paRha jaay tau wazan poora ho ga, jab keh aap ka takhallus "Suman" hai na keh "Summan". Kia aisa hi hai na. Agar aap "Summan" haiN tau yeh misraa theek hai warna........koi bandobast karna paRay ga iss ki durustgi ka.
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