|
Post by ramishjaan on May 19, 2007 1:07:45 GMT 5
AOA bazm ke ache sathion aj phir ek taza gahzal le kar ap ki khidmat me hazar hon ap ki qeemti ara ka muntazir ramishjaanDil ke zeer e asar rahe ga keya tu mera umr bhar rahe ga keya ghar ke hote howe bhi jan e jahaN Admi dar badar rahe ga keya bhol to jaoN main tujhe aye dost pass mere magar rahe ga keya ghar sa mahol hi nahi ghar me esi sourat me ghar rahe ga keya lout aao ge tum chalo man liya mosam e gul magar rahe ga keya keya tayaun na ho ga manzil ka you hi jari safar rahe ga keya apne hontoN ko sii to loN ramish dil par qabuo magar rahe ga keya
|
|
|
Post by Rafi Tabasum on May 19, 2007 1:49:54 GMT 5
AOA bazm ke ache sathion aj phir ek taza gahzal le kar ap ki khidmat me hazar hon ap ki qeemti ara ka muntazir ramishjaanDil ke zeer e asar rahe ga keya tu mera umr bhar rahe ga keya ghar ke hote howe bhi jan e jahaN Admi dar badar rahe ga keya bhol to jaoN main tujhe aye dost pass mere magar rahe ga keya ghar sa mahol hi nahi ghar me esi sourat me ghar rahe ga keya lout aao ge tum chalo man liya mosam e gul magar rahe ga keya keya tayaun na ho ga manzil ka you hi jari safar rahe ga keya apne hontoN ko sii to loN ramish dil par qabuo magar rahe ga keya bohat Khoobsoorat ghazal Ramish ji daad qabool farmaiaylout aao ge tum chalo man liya
dil par qabuo magar rahe ga keyain do misrooN par zra daubara ghaur farma lejiay ga
|
|
|
Post by shahkaar on May 19, 2007 1:53:39 GMT 5
Ramish bhai
itni khubsoorat ghazal ,itnayacchay ashaar , aik musafir, watan se door rehtay howayadmi ke jazbaat ki bharpoor akksi ker rehay hein,
mohabbat,ruswaye,njakami,umeedi , ,ahaain,hasratain,rashk,gilay ,shikway to ghazal kay puranay rang hein, aur aksar o beshtar jab koye shairi ya koye insan shairi kernay lagta hay to woh inheee jazboon mein se kisi per taba azmayee kerta hay,
aap ki pehlay ki kaye ghazloon nazmoon mein mein ne muhabbat /payar/umeed o yaas ka ansar ghalib dekha hay, lekin ik shairi ki ahmeyat us waqt barh jatee he jab woh halat ko apnay sheer mein dhalna shuroo ker deta hay, jaisay muhabbat bharay ashaar kaye logoon ke diloon ki awaaz ban jatay hein, aisay he jab makhsoos halaat per ashaar kahay gay hoon to us se mutabqat rakhnay walay loog un sheroon mein apni arzooyen,khawahashein dhondtay hein, jaiosay keh ik admi ne un ke dil ke andher jhank ker un k isochoon ko parh leya, aur baqaedaa alfaaz mein dhaal ke rakh deya,
aap watan se door hein, maazrat agar khas taur per isi tanazur mein uis ghazal ko dekha jaye to yeh ghazal intehaye khubsoorat hay, is ke elawa bhi ghazal kee rang be had khilay khilay aur numayaan hein, watan se dori, watan aur apnay ghar kay dar se muhabbat, makan ko ghar bananay ki khawahish aur umeed, is ghazal kay khubsoorat khayalaat hein, mein ne is ghazal ka sirf yeh aik manzar pesh keya hay , verna ghazal ker hazar p-ehloo hein aur her pehloo se ghazal mukammal hay .
mujhay aap ka yeh sheer intehayee pasand ayee
ghar ke hotay howay bhee jan e jehan admi dar ba dar rehay ga kia
kia hi khoob hota keh agar aap ki ghazal ka ikhtetaam is sheer per hota aur sheer yoon hgota, ya phir ghazal kaydarmeyaan h isahee lekin sheer mein aap ka takhallus hota keh
ghar ke hotay howay ramish admi dar ba dar rehay ga kia
wazan o beher se qata nazar mein aik aam adna qaree ke haseyat se apna nuqta e nazar beyaan ker rehaa hoon.
ghar sa mahool hi nahin ghar mein aisee soorat mein gharrehay ga kia
buhut khoob, buhut umdaah khayaal he ramish bhai, daadqubool kejay
bhool to jaoon tujhay mein ayy doost paas meray magar rehay gaa kia...
wahwah buhut khoob,
akhir mein aap se mazrat chahoon ga keh kuch ghalat likh gaya hoon, lekin meri khawahish thee keh is ghazal per khas taur per mazmoon likha jaye kionkeh ghazal ke ashaar is baat ka taqaza kertay hein, aur yeh kaam sirf shairi ki samajh boojh rakhnay wala insaan hi ker sakta hay .aap ki ghazal ka hasil sirf yahi sheer
ghar ke hotay howay bhi jan e jehan admi dar ba dar rehay ga kia
naqis raye meri muaafkejay ga.
wassalam
|
|
|
Post by Aqeel Malik on May 20, 2007 11:28:10 GMT 5
ghar sa mahol hi nahi ghar me esi sourat me ghar rahe ga keya
ye sher aj kay jis siasi aur samaji intishaar ki taraf nishandehi kar raha hay us ka nibhao umda hay bahut khoobsorat alamat apnay pory talazmy kay sath ae hay
lout aao ge tum chalo man liya mosam e gul magar rahe ga keya
bahut khoob ashaar nikaly hein ramish sb dad qabool kejeay
|
|
|
Post by HASIB RANA on May 20, 2007 15:55:08 GMT 5
[/COLOR][/SIZE]
|
|
|
Post by ramishjaan on May 22, 2007 16:14:24 GMT 5
bohat Khoobsoorat ghazal Ramish ji daad qabool farmaiay
lout aao ge tum chalo man liya
dil par qabuo magar rahe ga keya
in do misrooN par zra daubara ghaur farma lejiay ga[/quote]
AOA mohtran dr sahib bohat bohat shukriya hazoor ke aj ap ki tarf se mujhe islah ke liye bhi nishandahi ki gai bohat mamnon hon hazoor ap ka jawab dene me takheer is liye hoi ke kuch masrofiyat hain aj kal jin ki wajha se teim kam kam milta he nett ka ..........
dr sahib me is waqt bhi bohat jaldi me hon magar ap ne jin do misro ki taraf ishara kiya me INSHALLA un ko dkeho ga jaha tak meri naqus aqal kal karti he maqte ke jo dosra misra he wo ese tha
magar tapyping me pa ki jagha par likha geya .. DIl pa qabu magar rahe ga keya
dosre misre ko me mazeed dekho ga INSHALLA our jo behtar sorat hoi jaldi kar ke ap ki khidmat me pesh karo ga ap ki mohabato ka bohat shukriya waslam mukhlis ramishjaan
|
|
|
Post by ramishjaan on May 22, 2007 16:22:34 GMT 5
AOA azeez shahkar bhai ap ka tafseeli tabsra apni adna kawish par dekh kar ek khushi ka ehsas howa ke mere qari mujhe sirf ankh se nahi dil o damagh se bhi mehsos karte hain ......................
ap ne likha ke ap is ghazal par kuch apni socho se qemti alfaz likhe ge me bohat mamnon hoN ga agar meri kisi tehrer ko yeh izat bakhshi gai to ........................................................
shakar bhai jese ap ne kaha ke jo shaer ap ko bohat pasand aya ghazal ka wo darmeyan me hota ja maqta banta to yaqenan ap ki soch me wo khobsorat lagta me itefaq karo ga ap se magar mere sath masala yeh he shakar bhai ke me ghazal ko jese us ki amad hoti he wese hi rehne deta hon bohat kam kabhi me ne koi alfaz ki tandili ja ishaar ki jaghe tabdeel ki ho ja us waqt jab koi ouzan ja behr ki ghalti reh jaye warna meri koshish yehi hoti he ke jsi tarha amad hoi he ghazal usi husn me qayem rahe umeed he ap meri is ghustakho ko maaf farma de ge ap ki mohabato ka mamnon ramishjaan
|
|
|
Post by ramishjaan on May 22, 2007 16:25:15 GMT 5
AOA mohtram aqeel bhai bohat khushi hoi ap ko itni qeemti raye apni tehreer par dekh kar bohat bohat shukriya .ap ki yeh qeemti raye ezaaz he ramish ke liye nawzish waslam ramishjaan
|
|
|
Post by ramishjaan on May 22, 2007 16:30:50 GMT 5
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/quote] AOA mohtram haseeb sahib aj bazm ki raho par pehli mulaqat he shayd ap se manon hoN ke ap khaksar ki tehreer par tashreef laye yehi bohat he ek darkhwast karni chahoN ga gar ap ki tabiyat par giraN na guzre our agar meri gustakhi ap ko nagwar guzre to maafi ka talab gar hon
haseeb sahib shayd mere nett ki kamzori he ja ankhoo me ke mujhe apni tehreer par ap ka nick ap ka sign to nazar arha he magar gahzal ke bare me koi raye nahi majud mumkin he ap se kuch likhna reh geya ho umeed he ap is bat ka kheyal rakhe ge ke agar kisi tehreer ko parhte hain our ap wahan apni mojudgi ka sabot bhi dete hain to barye mehrbani us tehreer par apni raye me chahe do lafz hi likh diya kare is tarha hum jese naye likhne walo ki hosla afzei ho jati he umeed he meri yeh guzarshat ap ko buri nahi lage gi waslam mukhlis ramishjaan
|
|
|
Post by Rafi Tabasum on May 23, 2007 0:49:38 GMT 5
[ magar tapyping me pa ki jagha par likha geya .. DIl pa qabu magar rahe ga keya dosre misre ko me mazeed dekho ga INSHALLA our jo behtar sorat hoi jaldi kar ke ap ki khidmat me pesh karo ga ap ki mohabato ka bohat shukriya waslam mukhlis ramishjaan Ramish ji bilkul sahi yeh misra isi tarah banta hay shukria aap nay tanqeed ka bura nahi mana warna to...............
|
|
|
Post by khalid on May 23, 2007 7:04:21 GMT 5
|
|
|
Post by Jalees Sherwani on May 23, 2007 8:16:37 GMT 5
Ramish Bhai AOA Bhai aisi murassa ghazal nazar nawaaz hui ki dil khush ho gaya.. Arse baad aap se rabita ho raha hai...aap to bhool bhi gaye honge Jalees ko... EK ek sher shahkaar sa laga.ZZZIIINNNDDDAAABBBAAAD. Aap ka apna sa Jalees Sherwani
|
|
neha
rukn
Posts: 239
|
Post by neha on Aug 11, 2007 22:15:51 GMT 5
apne hontoN ko sii to loN ramish dil par qabuo magar rahe ga keya
Bohut khoob Ramish ji ...aap ki ghazal k tou hum bohut puranay fan hain but ap kam kam hi likhtay hain...but jab bhi likhtay hain ...accha hi likhtay hain...mery taraf se daad haazir hai
|
|
|
Post by Tanweer on Aug 13, 2007 12:06:10 GMT 5
Ramish Bhaee!
Kafi arsaay baad apki tehreer dekhnay ko mili, aur lutf aa gaya parh kar aapki ye ghazal.
Daad hazir hay hazoor.
Tanweer
|
|
|
Post by Atif Mirza on May 11, 2008 20:27:05 GMT 5
Wah kia ghazal hai ghaltiyaN durust kar kay.
|
|