zaamin
ibtidaai rukn
Posts: 69
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Post by zaamin on Feb 21, 2008 4:28:36 GMT 5
phir na dil kii baat apnii keh sakaa ik nazar ke faasile par hii to thaa
zehn ko raahat na dil ko de sukoon kyaa phir aisii aashiqii se faa`idaa
duniyaa bhar ke dukh tujhe mehsoos hoN yooN baRhaa le apne dil kaa daa'`iraa
zindagii ik kaarzaar-e-mustakil yeh nahiiN khaa pii liyaa aur so liyaa
'ishq men gar haarnaa hii jeet hai jeetane de yaar ko, tu haar jaa
chaar-su ab zulmatoN kaa shor hai kaun thaa jo raat hote bujh gayaa
rang-o- buu sabh,kaise tujh ko bhool jaa'Un teri hasti ke nishaaN yeh jaa-ba-jaa
alvidaa kaa vaar to ham seh gaye zakhm ko risnaa magar thaa der-paa.
narm sa tu keh gayaa ho ashkbaar ab talak dil jhelta vo zalzala
jee liyaa mar mar ke yooN tere baghair mar hi jaate thaa na itna hausalaa
laashoN ke dheron pe lashkar gaamzhan hai yahii twaariikh muujab irtiqa
teshe se sar phoRnaa laazim use mehrbaaN jis pe junooN ka devata
khaarah-zaar-e-chashm men gharq-aab ho eik naazuk khwaab thaa so gal gayaa
zaamin
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Post by Rafi Tabasum on Feb 21, 2008 23:08:04 GMT 5
wahhhhhhhhh bohar khoob Zaamin sahib
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Post by khalid on Feb 22, 2008 8:40:22 GMT 5
mohtaram zaamin sb aadaab!
huzoor ghazal ke mazameen to bohot umda haiN. lekin aapka qaafia ham aavaaz nahiN hai. yaani to, sey, so, haar, bujh wageira wagheira. ghazal meiN sirf radeef ka ham aavaaz hona kaafi nahiN hai.
meiree is raaey se aapka muttafiq hon zaroori nahiN! majmooii taur per daad qubool keeje!
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Post by waqaar on Feb 23, 2008 0:14:02 GMT 5
Zamin jii, aadaab! bahut aCHh~ii ghazal huZoor. merii daad qubool kee jiYay is per. "duniyaa bhar ke dukh tujhe mehsoos hoN" dunYa ka SaHiiH talaffuZ "dun-Ya" hay "du-ni-Ya" nahiiN. Ya'ni "2-2" vazn. iski "Ya" ko giraaYa bh~ii nahiiN jaa sakta kYuuNkeh Yeh 'arbi ka lafZ^ hay. umeed hay baat naagavaar nah guzray gii. khuSh rahYay, likh~tay rahYay! waQaar
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zaamin
ibtidaai rukn
Posts: 69
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Post by zaamin on Feb 23, 2008 0:27:42 GMT 5
wahhhhhhhhh bohar khoob Zaamin sahib mamnoon hoon tabassum saahib zaamin
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zaamin
ibtidaai rukn
Posts: 69
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Post by zaamin on Feb 23, 2008 0:30:23 GMT 5
aap sahii farmaate hain,khalid saahib;lekin yeh ghair-mutraddif ghazal hai,yaani is men radeef nahiin hai. aap ki raaye ke liye mamnoon hoon zaamin
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zaamin
ibtidaai rukn
Posts: 69
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Post by zaamin on Feb 23, 2008 0:33:04 GMT 5
Zamin jii, aadaab! bahut aCHh~ii ghazal huZoor. merii daad qubool kee jiYay is per. "duniyaa bhar ke dukh tujhe mehsoos hoN" dunYa ka SaHiiH talaffuZ "dun-Ya" hay "du-ni-Ya" nahiiN. Ya'ni "2-2" vazn. iski "Ya" ko giraaYa bh~ii nahiiN jaa sakta kYuuNkeh Yeh 'arbi ka lafZ^ hay. umeed hay baat naagavaar nah guzray gii. khuSh rahYay, likh~tay rahYay! waQaar mamnoon hoon waqaar saahib.paziirayii ke liye duniyaa ko yahaan men ne as dunyaa=21 use kiya hai dunyaa bhar ke =2122 mere khayaal men aisa karna sahii hai zaamin
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Shaheen
rukn
From City of Eagles
Posts: 161
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Post by Shaheen on Feb 23, 2008 7:11:19 GMT 5
Achi ghazal hai, waah zamin ji. daad tau ho gi hi
$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $
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Post by Sukhanwar on Feb 24, 2008 9:45:52 GMT 5
phir na dil kii baat apnii keh sakaa ik nazar ke faasile par hii to thaa
zehn ko raahat na dil ko de sukoon kyaa phir aisii aashiqii se faa`idaa
duniyaa bhar ke dukh tujhe mehsoos hoN yooN baRhaa le apne dil kaa daa'`iraa
zindagii ik kaarzaar-e-mustakil yeh nahiiN khaa pii liyaa aur so liyaa
'ishq men gar haarnaa hii jeet hai jeetane de yaar ko, tu haar jaa
chaar-su ab zulmatoN kaa shor hai kaun thaa jo raat hote bujh gayaa
rang-o- buu sabh,kaise tujh ko bhool jaa'Un teri hasti ke nishaaN yeh jaa-ba-jaa
alvidaa kaa vaar to ham seh gaye zakhm ko risnaa magar thaa der-paa.
narm sa tu keh gayaa ho ashkbaar ab talak dil jhelta vo zalzala
jee liyaa mar mar ke yooN tere baghair mar hi jaate thaa na itna hausalaa
laashoN ke dheron pe lashkar gaamzhan hai yahii twaariikh muujab irtiqa
teshe se sar phoRnaa laazim use mehrbaaN jis pe junooN ka devata
khaarah-zaar-e-chashm men gharq-aab ho eik naazuk khwaab thaa so gal gayaazaamin zamin sahib boht khoob aap ki saari ghazal umda hy khalid sahib ny qaafiay ki jo bat ki us hawalay sy main aap ki raay sy mutafiq hoon k yeh ghair muradaf ghazal hy thanx razi
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Post by ramishjaan on Feb 25, 2008 1:17:08 GMT 5
AOA muhtram Zaamin sahib is khobsorat ghazal ke liye bohat sari dad ap ki nazr qabol ki jiye waslam mukhlis ramishjaan
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zaamin
ibtidaai rukn
Posts: 69
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Post by zaamin on Feb 27, 2008 2:06:53 GMT 5
bahut khoob zaamin ji, aap ki yeh ghazal pasand aayii.daad qubuul karen. mamnoon hoon,sunita di zaamin
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Post by khalid on Feb 28, 2008 3:50:46 GMT 5
aap sahii farmaate hain,khalid saahib;lekin yeh ghair-mutraddif ghazal hai,yaani is men radeef nahiin hai. aap ki raaye ke liye mamnoon hoon zaamin zaamin sb aadaab!
maiN ne aaj pehli mertaba gheir mutraddif ghazal ke baarey maiN suna hai! yaqeenan aap aur razi bhaii durust fermaatey haiN! lekin maiN ne apni pehli ghazal jo kam o beish chaar baras pehley kahi thee, aur mujhey khud bhi pasaN d thee, per yehi aiteraaz huaa tha. maiN ne to ab tak yehi samjha k shayad ye andaaz sinf e ghazal k daaerey sey hi khaarij hai. lekin shayad aisa nahiN hai. maiN ye ghazal aaj post ker raha hooN. aap bhi deikh leeje ga!
aapki aur razi bhaii ki rehnumaii ka shukriya!
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