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Post by kanwal on Nov 6, 2007 2:23:20 GMT 5
ziyaarat karaa de madeena mujhe tu DaroodoN ka de de khazeena mujhe tu
Mire kaam saare sanwar jaayeiN jis se koi aisa de de qareena mujhe tu
Mujhe zindagi ke bhanwar se nikaale Koi de de aisa safeena mujhe tu
JahaN dil ka roshan rahe jis se har dam Wo de de munawar khazeena mujhe tu
Ibaadat main kaise karooN apne rab ki Sikhaa de habeeb e sakeena SW mujhe tu
Mile tere gulshan se ranaayee e diL Sikhaa de koi to qareena mujhe tu
Jhalak dekh paaye kaNwal teri jis se Ataa kar wo chashma e beena mujhe tu
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Post by Atif Mirza on Nov 6, 2007 16:25:08 GMT 5
Kanwal Jee! Masha Allah naat bahut achhi hai magar matlay ka pehla misra behr say kharij hai! Aur iss ka aap ko bhi andaza ho ga. Rah-numaiee kay liay behr darj hai!
Fa'oolun - Fa'oolun - Fa'oolun - Fa'oolun
Iss wazan per aap kay maqtay ka misr-e-oola nahiN poora hota aur image aur roman maiN yeh mukhtalif bhi hai phir bhi wazan theek nahiN..
Albatta doosra misra wazan maiN hai!
Fa'oolun --------- Fa'oolun ------- Fa'oolun --- Fa'oolun
Ziyaarat----------e shauQ de-----aye madeena------mujhe tu (YahaN per poora misra wazan say bahir hai) DaroodoN------- Ka day day----- Nagina------ Mujhay too (Yeh misra theek hai)
Rahe jis---------- meiN naam e---- Mohammad------laboN par (Yeh misra theek hai) De ramzaa-------n ka wo -----------maheena--------mujhe tu (YahaN per lafz "de" ka baRa "Ye" dabta hai jo keh ghalat hai)
Mire kaa---------m saare------------ sanwar jaa------yeiN jis se (Yeh misra theek hai) E maalik!--------De aisa ------------qareena ----------mujhe tu (YahaN per lafz "E" aur "de" ka baRa "Ye" dabta hai jo keh ghalat hai)
Mujhe zin--------dagi ke------------ bhanwar se-------nikaale (Yeh misra theek hai) Koi de------------de aisa------------ safeena------------mujhe (YahaN per lafz "de" ka baRa "Ye" dabta hai jo keh ghalat hai)
JahaN dil-------- ka roshan---------rahe jis-------------se har dam (YahaN per lafz "se" ka baRa "Ye" dabta hai jo keh ghalat hai) Wo de de--------munawar---------dafeena-------------mujhe tu (Yeh misra theek hai)
Ibaadat ----------main kaise--------karooN ap---------ne rab ki (Yeh misra theek hai) Sikhaa de-------- habeeb e---------sakeena------------mujhe tu (Yeh misra theek hai)
De raana---------yee gulshan--------ko tere------------KANWAL bhi (YahaN per lafz "de" ka baRa "Ye" dabta hai jo keh ghalat hai) Sikaa poo--------loN ke jai------------se jeena---------- mujhe tu (YahaN per lafz "ke" aur "jaise" ka baRa "Ye" dabta hai jo keh ghalat hai)
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Post by Rafi Tabasum on Nov 8, 2007 1:01:06 GMT 5
bohat khoob Kanwal sahiba khoobsoorat na,at shrif kahi aap nay daad hazir hay
Atif Mirza sahib aaj kal Alif aur ko dbaya ya geraya jana ma,oob nahi samjha jata meray khayal main to agar yeh gunjaish day de ja,ay to koi harj nahi haaN pehla misray par zra tawaju ki khaas zaroorat hay
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Post by Atif Mirza on Nov 8, 2007 17:07:48 GMT 5
Rafi Sahib! Rules of the game kabhi tabdeel nahiN honay chahiaN, waja yeh hai keh sher ka husn barbad ho jata hai. Bahar hal aap kay haaN yeh shayad jaez ho magar hamaray haaN yeh na-mumkin hai.
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Post by waqaar on Nov 9, 2007 20:55:25 GMT 5
KaNwal jii, aapko dekh~ ker khuShii aur us say ziYaadah khuShii is naa't per. Allaah aapki is kaaviSh ko apni baargaah maiN maqbool farmaayeN aameen! -------- Atif SaaHeb, "E maalik!--------De aisa ------------qareena ----------mujhe tu (YahaN per lafz "E" aur "de" ka baRa "Ye" dabta hai jo keh ghalat hai)" agar "ay(YahaaN per E)" 'arbi Ya faarsi kay ilfaaz^ hotay to ShaaYad inhaiN giraanay kii ijaazat nah hoti magar chooNkeh Yeh urdu ka hay is liYay isay giraanay kii ijaazat hay. aapko iski ka,ii micaalaiN mil jaa,yeNgii. ========== "JahaN dil-------- ka roshan---------rahe jis-------------se har dam (YahaN per lafz "se" ka baRa "Ye" dabta hai jo keh ghalat hai)" meN aapki is baat say bh~ii ittefaaq nahiiN rakh~ta kYuuNkeh iski micaalaiN asaatizah kay kalaam maiN bh`ii haiN. aur isay to ghalat^ kisii Soorat nahiiN kahaa ja sakta. ======== kaNwal is naa't per daad haaZir hay. waQaar
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Post by Atif Mirza on Dec 14, 2007 18:32:30 GMT 5
Bhai ittifaaq nahiN hai tau na sahi magar maiN nay e'tirazaat theek kiyay haiN. Asaatiza kay haaN issi tarah ki shaeri ka aalam hota hai.
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Post by kanwal on Jan 14, 2008 4:26:09 GMT 5
[/size][/color] Fa'oolun --------- Fa'oolun ------- Fa'oolun --- Fa'oolun
Ziyaarat----------e shauQ de-----aye madeena------mujhe tu (YahaN per poora misra wazan say bahir hai) DaroodoN------- Ka day day----- Nagina------ Mujhay too (Yeh misra theek hai)[/quote] Zah e naseeb [/size][/font] [/quote] JanaaB Hazoor ke nazdeek yeh "de" dabta hai to bandi kya kare iss ke oopar almaari gir gayee thi maine laakh bachayaa par yeh dabta hi chala gaya ,.... Ab aap hi koi rasta nikaaliye aur humari madad farmaiye taake huM issko dabne se bachaa sakeiN ,.... Khubsoorat raaye ke liye bandi shukarguzaar hai ,....
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Post by kanwal on Jan 14, 2008 4:28:10 GMT 5
bohat khoob Kanwal sahiba khoobsoorat na,at shrif kahi aap nay daad hazir hay Atif Mirza sahib aaj kal Alif aur ko dbaya ya geraya jana ma,oob nahi samjha jata meray khayal main to agar yeh gunjaish day de ja,ay to koi harj nahi haaN pehla misray par zra tawaju ki khaas zaroorat hay AOA Rafi jee ,... Aapki hausla afzaayee ke liye shukr guzaar hooN ,... Aap ne haQ kaha ke matle k pehle misre meiN kuch gunjaish hai main isse door karne ki koshish karooNgi ,... aapki pasandeedgi ke liye Shukriya ,....
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Post by kanwal on Jan 14, 2008 4:29:34 GMT 5
Rafi Sahib! Rules of the game kabhi tabdeel nahiN honay chahiaN, waja yeh hai keh sher ka husn barbad ho jata hai. Bahar hal aap kay haaN yeh shayad jaez ho magar hamaray haaN yeh na-mumkin hai. Baraye mehrbaani Atif jee aap se modbaana iltmaas hai ke aap apne mubarak hathoN se iss meiN thori si khubsoorati bhar dijiye taake huMeiN bhi ilm ho sake ke aap ke haaN kya na mumkin hai ,...
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Post by kanwal on Jan 14, 2008 4:32:46 GMT 5
KaNwal jii, aapko dekh~ ker khuShii aur us say ziYaadah khuShii is naa't per. Allaah aapki is kaaviSh ko apni baargaah maiN maqbool farmaayeN aameen! -------- Atif SaaHeb, "E maalik!--------De aisa ------------qareena ----------mujhe tu (YahaN per lafz "E" aur "de" ka baRa "Ye" dabta hai jo keh ghalat hai)" agar "ay(YahaaN per E)" 'arbi Ya faarsi kay ilfaaz^ hotay to ShaaYad inhaiN giraanay kii ijaazat nah hoti magar chooNkeh Yeh urdu ka hay is liYay isay giraanay kii ijaazat hay. aapko iski ka,ii micaalaiN mil jaa,yeNgii. ========== "JahaN dil-------- ka roshan---------rahe jis-------------se har dam (YahaN per lafz "se" ka baRa "Ye" dabta hai jo keh ghalat hai)" meN aapki is baat say bh~ii ittefaaq nahiiN rakh~ta kYuuNkeh iski micaalaiN asaatizah kay kalaam maiN bh`ii haiN. aur isay to ghalat^ kisii Soorat nahiiN kahaa ja sakta. ======== kaNwal is naa't per daad haaZir hay. waQaar AOA Waqaar ,... yaqeenan aapko bhi yahaN dekh kar humeiN khushi hui ,... kaafi arse baad aaye aap ,... yeh sab puraane dost sukhanwar ko mahino mahino muN nahiN dekhaate bai yeh to achi baat nahiN na yeh mehfil hum sab se haiN aur hum hi ne isse banaana sanwaarna hai so jaldi jaldi aaya kijyie,.... (waise in meiN main bhi shamil hooN ,...... ) Aap ne meri adnaa si kavish pasand ki jis ke liye tah e dil se shukr guzaar hooN .
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Post by kanwal on Jan 14, 2008 4:34:06 GMT 5
Bhai ittifaaq nahiN hai tau na sahi magar maiN nay e'tirazaat theek kiyay haiN. Asaatiza kay haaN issi tarah ki shaeri ka aalam hota hai. Aap ka aitraaz sar aankhoN par ,.... Magar shart wohi hai ke iski islaaH farmaa ke husn bakhshiye ,...
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Post by Atif Mirza on Jan 15, 2008 20:39:08 GMT 5
Humaray ustad-e-mohtaram janab Allama Anees Lakhnavi nay sirf hamari ghalati ki nishandahi ki aur hamaisha durust hum nay khud kia. Main nay aik dost honay kay naatay taqtee kar dee, baraay mehrbani aap durustgi ka freeza khud anjaam daiN. Aap ki aap ni shaeri maiN nikhar aay ga. Thanx
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Post by kanwal on Mar 22, 2008 0:56:59 GMT 5
Humaray ustad-e-mohtaram janab Allama Anees Lakhnavi nay sirf hamari ghalati ki nishandahi ki aur hamaisha durust hum nay khud kia. Main nay aik dost honay kay naatay taqtee kar dee, baraay mehrbani aap durustgi ka freeza khud anjaam daiN. Aap ki aap ni shaeri maiN nikhar aay ga. Thanx Bai Aatif jee ,... hum aap jaise zaheen o fateen to nahiN,.... Hum ne adnaa si phir koshish ki hai dekh lijiye ga ,.... huM modyfiy kar rahe haiN ,.....
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Post by Atif Mirza on Mar 30, 2008 2:01:13 GMT 5
Aray------- Modification kay baad bhi taqreeban wohi haalaat haiN....
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Post by nadeem on Apr 14, 2008 2:53:38 GMT 5
De izn e ziyaarat madeena mujhe tu DaroodoN ka de de nageena mujhe tu
Komal aap isay aisay kar laen maen hi aap ki mushkil hal kar doon warna ye jang to jari rahay gi ummeed hai Atif bhi itifaaq karaen gay
ziyarat kara day madeena mujhay tu daroodoon ka day day khazeena mujhay tu
Mire kaam saare sanwar jaayeiN jis se E maalik! De aisa qareena mujhe tu
isay yoon kar laen meray kaam saray sanwar jaen jis say koi aisa day day qareena mujhay tu
ab aap ki likhi naat arooz kay aitraaz say paak ho gai Nadeem Bhabha
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