neha
rukn
Posts: 239
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Post by neha on Jul 22, 2008 23:09:53 GMT 5
Sila gar hai chahat.......sila mujh ko de do, Saza jo agar hai..........saza mujh ko de do, Teray ishq kay marz main mubtila hoon, Muhabbat ki apni........dawa mujh ko de do, Gawara nahin .................berukhy ab ye teri, Faqat maut ki ik...... .raza mujh ko de do, Na mangain ab, bheek main bhi ye chahat, Bhalanay ki bas ik.........dua mujh ko de do, Kabhi keh jo day bewafa.......ye zamana, Tou uswaqt jaam -e- wafa mujh ko de do, Ye Neha ki hai aarzoo......waqt-e- rukhsat, K tum bas palat k ...........sada mujh de do.
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Post by Rafi Tabasum on Jul 23, 2008 1:44:53 GMT 5
Sila gar hai chahat.......sila mujh ko de do, Saza jo agar hai..........saza mujh ko de do, Teray ishq kay marz main mubtila hoon, Muhabbat ki apni........dawa mujh ko de do, Gawara nahin .................berukhy ab ye teri, Faqat maut ki ik...... .raza mujh ko de do, Na mangain ab, bheek main bhi ye chahat, Bhalanay ki bas ik.........dua mujh ko de do, Kabhi keh jo day bewafa.......ye zamana, Tou uswaqt jaam -e- wafa mujh ko de do, Ye Neha ki hai aarzoo......waqt-e- rukhsat, K tum bas palat k ...........sada mujh de do. Bohat khoob neha ji
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Post by Sukhanwar on Jul 28, 2008 1:08:08 GMT 5
neha ji khoobsoorat aur murassa kalaam hy daad qabool kijiay thanx razi
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Post by ramishjaan on Jul 28, 2008 1:24:55 GMT 5
AOA Neha jee bohat sari dad qabol ki jyie waslam mukhlis ramishjaan
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Post by saeed on Jul 28, 2008 6:35:16 GMT 5
Teray ishq kay marz main mubtila hoon...
buhut khub Saeed
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Post by kanwal on Jul 30, 2008 1:00:15 GMT 5
Sila gar hai chahat.......sila mujh ko de do, Saza jo agar hai..........saza mujh ko de do, Teray ishq kay marz main mubtila hoon, Muhabbat ki apni........dawa mujh ko de do, Gawara nahin .................berukhy ab ye teri, Faqat maut ki ik...... .raza mujh ko de do, Na mangain ab, bheek main bhi ye chahat, Bhalanay ki bas ik.........dua mujh ko de do, Kabhi keh jo day bewafa.......ye zamana, Tou uswaqt jaam -e- wafa mujh ko de do, Ye Neha ki hai aarzoo......waqt-e- rukhsat, K tum bas palat k ...........sada mujh de do. Bohat khoob Neha jee ,...
Daad ke phooL Aapki nazR ,...
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neha
rukn
Posts: 239
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Post by neha on Aug 9, 2008 13:33:23 GMT 5
Thanx a lot, Rafi sahab, razi bhai,Saeed sahab,Ramish sahab,N Kanwal ji aap sab ki pasandeedgi ka bohut bohut thanx:)
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Post by Atif Mirza on Aug 17, 2008 17:58:11 GMT 5
Neha Ji! Pehlay tau itni khoob soorat ghazal ataa karnay per aap ka shukriya aur dhair saari daad.
Daad kay baad maiN aap ki tawajjah chahooN ga keh main aap ki ghazal kay har aik sher per fardan fardan tabsra karooN. Jo thoRa sa mujhay pata hai uss ki roshni maiN jo bhi likh raha hooN uss ka maqsad aap ki dil aazaari nahiN.
Aap ki ghazal ki behr hai:-
“Behr-e-Mutaqarib – Musamman Salimâ€
Fa’oolun ---- Fa’oolun ---- Fa’oolun ---- Fa’oolun Fa’oolun ---- Fa’oolun ---- Fa’oolun ---- Fa’oolun
Iss sher per ghaur kijiay:-
Utar kar Hira say soo-e-qoum aayaa Aur ik nuskha-e-keemiyaa saath laayaa
Utar kar ---- Hira say ---- soo-e-qou ----- m aayaa Aur ik nus ---- kha-e-kee ---- miyaa saa ---- th laayaa
Aap ki ghazal ki taqtee iss wazan per ho gi:-
Sila gar ---- hai chahat ---- sila muj ---- ko de do, Saza jo ---- agar hai ---- saza muj ko de do,
Yeh sher theek hai. Doosray misray main thoRi si kamzori hai. Iss per ghaur kijiay ga.
Teray ish ---- q kay mar ---- z main mub ---- tila hoo, Muhabbat ---- ki apni ---- dawa muj ---- ko de do,
Sher wazan kay etibaar say tau theek hai magar aik naqS hai. Who hai “Shutar garbaâ€. Yani aap nay ooper kay miSray main lafz “teray†istemaal kia hai aur doosray misray main “de doâ€. Arz yeh hai keh “teray†kay saat “de de†istemaal hota hao. Aur “de do†“tum kay liay kaha jaata hai. Andaz-e-takhatub kay hisab say donoN ka joR nahiN banta. Maslan yeh fiqra dikhiay:
Aap chalay jaaiay. (Fiqra theek hai Tum chalay jaao (Fiqra theek hai) Too chalaa jaa (Theek hai)
“Aap chalaa jao†(Ghalat) “Tum chalaa jaa†ya “tum chalay jaa†(Ghalat) “Too chalaa jaao†ya “Too chalay jaa†(Ghalat)
Bilkul issi tarah aap kay iss sher main yeh khami hai, jissay door karnay say sher main husn paida ho ga.
Gawara ---- nahin be ---- rukhy ab ---- ye teri, Faqat mau ---- t ki ik ---- raza muj ---- ko de do Iss main bhi “shutar garba†wali khami hai. Jo lafz “yeh teri†ko “Tumhari†say badalnay say durust ho jay gi. Lihaza aap apnay iss sher ko iss tarah likiay:-
Gawara nahin berukhy ab timhari, Faqat maut ki ik raza mujh ko de do,
Na mangay ---- (ge) ab, bheek main bhi ye chahat, Bhâ€uâ€lanay ---- ki bas ik ----dua muj ---- ko de do
Achhchha sher hai.
Pehlay misray maiN lafz “ge†ya “gay†laganay say sher ka matlab bhi waze ho ga aur wazan bhi theek ho ga.
Doosray misray maiN “Bhalanay†ki bajaay “Bhulaanay†likhiay
Kabhi ke ---- jo day be ---- wafa ye -----zamana, Tou uswaq ---- t jaamay ---- wafa muj ---- ko de do,
Bahut umda sher hai.
Ye Neha ---- ki hai aa ---- r zoo waq ---- tay ruksat, K tum bas ---- palat k ---- sada muj ---- (ko) de do
Yeh bhi bahut khoob soorat sher hai. Lafz ko missing hai.
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zaki
sukhanshanas
Posts: 446
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Post by zaki on Sept 8, 2008 10:50:55 GMT 5
Neha Ji....
Bahut Khoobsorat Ghazal share ki hai app ne.... Bahut sari daad qabool farmaeay... Sada khush raheay.....
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neha
rukn
Posts: 239
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Post by neha on Sept 9, 2008 0:21:39 GMT 5
Neha Ji....
Bahut Khoobsorat Ghazal share ki hai app ne.... Bahut sari daad qabool farmaeay... Sada khush raheay..... Thanx Zaki sahab
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Post by waqaar on Sept 9, 2008 1:25:40 GMT 5
Neha SaaHebah! aadaab! aapki naZ^m bahut pasand aa,ii, bahut uMdah baYaan hay. Atif Saaheb ki tabSirah bh~ii aChh~aa lagaa. aik arZi meri bh~ii hay jisay aap khud bh~i ik baar check kee jiYay gaa. lafZ^ "marz" SaHiiH hay Ya "maraz" meray khaYaal maiN "maraz" SaHiiH talaffuz hay. daad qubool kee jiYay! waQaar
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Post by tmasood on Sept 11, 2008 4:03:28 GMT 5
Neha jee! achee hai ! pasand aa'ee khush rehaiN
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zaki
sukhanshanas
Posts: 446
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Post by zaki on Sept 29, 2008 14:19:02 GMT 5
Thanx Zaki sahab[/quote] [glow=red,2,300] U R WELCOME [/glow]
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