Post by kanwal on May 9, 2007 2:45:10 GMT 5
Afsaana.... „Tu ishQ ka butkada hai“
„Suno tum phir se mujhe chod to na jao ge, dekho tumhare jane ke baad main bejaan si ho jaati hooN. Nafrat ka zehr qatra qatra meri rag rag meiN phailta jaata hai, dekho khudara mujhe chod na jaana warna main mar jaoNgi aur agar maut na bhi aayee to maut se barh ke zindagi ho jaaye gi. Khudara ab aaye ho to mujhe chod ke na jaan“
“Meri jaan, meri hayaat, mere maan, meri zaat main kis tarah tumheiN chod sakta hooN main ishQ hooN aur tum bin adhoora hooN, meri veeraN zindagi meiN bas ik tu hi to kanwal ki soorat hai, main chodna chahooN bhi to tumheiN chod nahiN sakta.”
“jao main nahiN yaqeen karti tumhari kisi baat par…… Tum yunhi har baar keh kar chale jaate ho aur mujhe tanhaa iss aag meiN jalta chod jaate ho. Pehle bhi dekho tumne mujhe jo zakhm diye the wo ab nasoor ban chuke haiN. Inn ka saara zehar mere jism o jaaN meiN yuN phail chuka hai aur main sarap e aziyat ban chuki hooN. Dekho yeh zehar tumheiN meri aankhoN meiN, mere lab o lehje meiN bhi nazar aaye ga meri rooH ke zakhmoN pe dawa ke ewaz har baar tumne zakhm diye haiN tum dunya ki rangeeniyoN meiN mera haath chod jaate ho aur meri rooH ko aik naya ghao saughaat ki soorat de jaate ho”.
“Meri zindagi, meri jaan, meri rooH bas tu hi tu mere liye sab kuch hai mujhe teri qasam hai main ab tujhe kabhi chod ke na jaoN ga….Lo yeh hathkari aur mujhe baandh do, …lo yeh beriyaN mere paoN meiN daal do. Meri jaan chaho to meri samaat, meri hayaat, meri bisaarat chheen lo taake mujhe dunya ki shokhiyaN sunaayee na de sakeiN, rangeeniyaN dikhayee na de sakeiN. E husn!…. Meri muhabbat bas ik tu hi tu hai jo meri rooH talak samayee hui hai aur jab tak yeh zindagi rahe gi main tumheiN chahta rahooNga, tumheiN maangta rahooNga, poojta rahooNga. Tu bol meri jaan tujhe kya saboot chahiye dekh main tere qadmoN meiN apna yeh dil rakh choda hai, dekh isski surkh jheel meiN sirf aik hi kanwal hai dekh iski deewaroN pe bas teri hi adayeiN haiN, Teri hi wafayeiN, tera hi naam likha hai. Tu jo sarapa e aziyat ban gayee hai mere liye to meri jaaN mujhe maaf kar de, tujh meiN jo zehr bhara hai meri wajah se meri zindagi to mujhe muaf kar de, mujhe teri qasam ke tere saare zehr ko main qatra qatra khud meiN utaar looNga aur tujh meiN muhabbat hi muhabbat bhar dooN ga ke tu sarapa E muhabbat ho jaaye gi.
Meri jaan tu mat ro ke tera aik aik aansoo mere liye tezaab ban jaata hai, jo meri rooH talak ko daagh de jaata hai, apne saare aansoo meri jholi meiN daal de,…Sun e mere dil! Ke aaj ke baad teri aankhoN meiN sirf khushyoN ke jugnoo bhar dooNga, teri inn khubsoorat aankhoN meiN khushi ki nami to nazar aaye gi magar ranj o alam ka toofaan main sab aise churaa looN ga ke tujhko khabar bhi na ho sake gi tere laboN pe sirf aur sirf meri habeeb! Muskuraahat khila kare gi. TumheiN qasam hai meri zindagi!... ke ab tu muskuraa de ke iss veeraN saraaye meiN teri muskaan ke kanwal khil sakeiN.”
Theek hai e ishQ !... ke tumne jo kaha maine aik baar phir maan lia hai, phir aik baar tum pe yaqeen o aitmaad kar rahi hooN, main tumheiN bairiyoN meiN baandh ke rakhna nahiN chahti, main tumhari samaatoN, bisaartoN pe pehre lagaana nahiN chahti ke muhabbat baandhne ka naam nahiN hai jo kisi ko qaid kar le, tum aazad ho bas mere hi rehna, mujhe chod ke na jaana ke main tere jaane ka soch ke hi khauf zada ho jaati hooN, tum chale jaao ge sochte hi meri jaaN nikalne lagti hai aur rooH be chain ho uth ti hai. TumheiN qasam hai meri e ishQ!... mujhe kabhi mazaaq meiN bhi jaane ka na kehna, mujh pe sau sitam kar lena magar kabhi chod ke jaane ka khauf na dena ke main to pehle se hi khaufzada hooN, pehle hi is qadar toot chuki hooN ke tumhari yeh dhamki yeh mazaak mujhe reza reza kar de ga, meri shakhsiyat sookhe patoN ki soorat ho chuki hai ke jineiN meri zaat ke shajar se mazaaq ki zara si hawa bhi bakher sakti hai. Dekho! Meri aankheiN, mere rukhsaar, mere lab, meri saanseiN, mera ruwaN ruwaN tumheiN bataa rahi haiN ke mujhe tum pe yaqeen hai, aitmaad hai magar e ishQ!… Mera dil har lehzaa sookhe pate ki maanind kaanpta rehta hai. Main jaanti hooN ke main kabhi tumse talkh ho jaati hooN magar tum to ishQ ho, jaante ho ke zehreeley samandar se amrat ke seep milna kis qadar mushkil hai aur yeh zehar bhi tumhari hi dain hai na?…. Main bhi tum se tumhari tarah meethi baat karna chahti hooN magar nafrat aur khauf ke zehreeley naag har pal meri raggoN ko daste haiN. Khudaara…mujhe apni baanhoN meiN kahiN chhupa lo ke meri zaat inn se bach sake warna meri halaawat khatm ho jaaye gi, meri sakhaawat khatm ho jaaye gi, meri sharaarat khatm ho jaaye gi, meri har chaahat khatm ho jaaye gi. Khudaara mujhe apne dil meiN kahiN chhupa lo ke ab main thak chuki hooN tumhari aaghosh meiN sona chahti hooN, ghamoN ki dhoop meiN mere liye tum saaya ban jaao…. Aisa saaya jiski thandak meri rooH tak ko seraab kar de. Dekho ab main kuch der sone lagi hooN mujhe jagaana mat, Mujhe chod ke jaana mat. Meri zindagi ke haasil tumhare baazu pe sar rakh ke sone do mujhe ke yuNhi waqt chalta rahe, safar kat ta rahe, station aate raheiN, loG aate raheiN, jaate raheiN. Tumhara dheere dheere mere baaloN ko sehlaana mera sab zehr nikaal kar halawat ki meethi neend bakhsh raha hai, mujhe abhi na uthaana mere humsafar!... ke sadyoN se meri piyaasi rooH sehraoN bayabaanoN meiN bhatak rahi thi aur aaj barsaat hui hai, khushi ki barkha jis meiN main apna ruwaN ruwaN bhigona chahti hooN, mujhe chand lamhe aankheiN band kar ke iss barkha ko mehsoos karne do, tum mere qareeN ho iss ehsaas ko mehsoos karne do, tumhari bakhshi hui halaawat ko mehsoos karne do,.. Bas tum yahiN rehna mere paas, meri jaanaN ke mujhe yeh chand saateiN iss zindagi se bhi piyari hain.”
“Utho meri jaan, meri hayaat!… ke ab shaam dhal rahi hai, bohat der ho chuki hai utho meri muhabbat!… dekho kitni hi manzileiN beet chuki haiN tumhari aankhoN ke yeh laal dore, inheiN aur haseeN bana rahe haiN, inn meiN halaawat hi halaawat hai, muhabbat hi muhabbat hai, sakhaawat hi sakhaawat hai, sharaarat hi sharaarat ha. Dekho to aaina ke har tarf tum meiN bas ab chaahat hi chaahat hai, utho meri zaat e jheel ke kanwal ke mujhe ab jaana hai, main chahta to nahiN magar kya karooN ke tu meri manzil nahiN hai, hum do manziloN ke raahi haiN jo kuch lamhe saath safar kar rahe the, dekho kitni manzileiN guzar chuki haiN aur mujhe ab utarna hai ke agli manzil se mujhe phir kisi aur husn ke saath ik naya safar shuru karna hai ke main ti ishq hooN meri taqdeer meiN koi aik manzil nahiN. Magar e mere dil ke nageeN!… Main sirf tumhara hooN aur bas tumhara hi rehna chahoonga par mujhe ab tum se vidaa lena hai ke mujhe der ho rahi hai. Dekhi khudara aansoo na bahao mujhe kahiN andar takleef mehsoos ho rahi hai, main tumse shamrminda hooN ke iss baar phir tumheiN ik zakhm de jaa raha hoon magar main kya karooN, meri dil e jaanaN ke main apne muqadar se nahiN lar sakta. Par mera waada hai tum se ke zindagi ke kisi agle station, agli manzil pe tumse phir aan milooNga aur tumhara saara zehr doobara apne andar utaar kar tumheiN sar taa paa muhabbat hi muhabbat kar doonga. Bas meri jaan mujhe ab jaane do,… dekho train ruk gayee hai aur wo manzil aa chuki hai jahaN se mujhe ab naya safar shuru karna hai…par jaate jaate main tumhara shukriya adaa karna chahta hooN, shukriya har baat ka, har adaa, har yaqeen, wafaa ka aur har aansoo ka…yeh chand lamhe hi meri zindagi the. LEKIN suno!… tum chaho to mujhe rok sakti ho, chaho to tok sakti ho, mujhe bura bhala keh sakti ho, mujhe beriyoN meiN baandh sakti ho, mujhe aawaz de do ke main ruk jaaoN kioynke main bhi tumhare paas rukna chahta hooN… e meri hayaat mujhe rok lo ke tum bin main adhoora ho jaaonga…de kar aawaaz meri hum nasheeN rok lo mujhe,….”
NahiN e ishQ mujhe ab kisi ko rokna nahiN hai…tum meri zaat , shakhsiyat ko to reza reza kar gaye ho magar meri anaa isse bikharne nahiN de gi,. Maine tumheiN pehle hi kaha tha ke mujhe chod na jaana,..kabhi mazaak meiN bhi yeh na kehna lekin jaane kiyoN tumheiN mere dard se raahat naseeb hoti hai… tumne mujhe wo aziyat di hai jaise koi kisi marte hue ko zindagi ki naveed sunaa kar iski zindagi chheen le. Maine tumheiN kaha tha ke mujhe chod jaane ka na kehna, tumhare qadmoN meiN maine apna dil o jaaN rakhe the, tumheiN apna maan kar tumheiN har ehsaas diya tha aur ab phir tum mujhe wohi zakhm de jaa rahe ho iss umeed par ke main tumheiN rok looNgi, manaa looNgi, aur tum hans ke taal doge aur kaho ge main mazaaQ kar raha tha, jabke tum bhool rahe ho ke maine tumheiN kabhi bhi beriyoN meiN qaid nahiN kia,…kabhi awaaz de kar nahiN bulaaya, kabhi tumheiN jaat ehue pukaar ke roka nahiN… to ab kis tarah main rok sakti hooN… Tum har baar aate ho mujhe sataane ko, mujhe kalpaane ko. Mujhe mere hisaar meiN bechain kar ke zindagi ke haseeN rang dikhaate ho aur juN hi main wo rang dekhne baahir aati hooN tum meri hayaat ko siyaH libaada pehnaa jaate ho. Tum jao e ishQ !… ke iss baar bhi main tumheiN na rokoNgi , na bad dua dooNgi aur na apni maut maangoNgi balke ab absoorat saza iss zindagi ko apnaoN gi ke kiyoN maine muskaan ki, khushyoN ki chaahat ki… yeh jaan kar ke tumheiN to jaana hi tha kiyoN har baar tum pe yaqeeN kia, tum to ishQ ho kisi aik ke ho hi nahiN sakte ke tumhari fitrat meiN hi nahiN ke tum kisi aik ke ho jao to iss meiN tumhara kya qasoor?… ab tum chahe kisi bhi rang, kisi bhi soorat, kisi bhi bhais meiN aao mujhe mere hisaar se nikaal na paaoge ke iss baar main apni zinda laash zindagi ke taaboot meiN dafnaa rahi hooN aur jin meiN zindagi nahiN hoti wo jiya nhiaN karte iss liye mujhe tumhare jaane ka koi gham dukh afsos nahiN hai kiyonke yeh to wahaN hota hai jahaN zindagi hoti hai, yahaN to mom si gudiya basti hai jo duniya ke ahnsne pe hanse gi, duniya ke rone pe roye gi,… tum shauQ se jaao lekin iss baar jaate jaate mere iss taaboot pe aik aakhri keel bhi khud apne haath se laga jao ke ab jo main khud meiN dafan hui to koi aawaaz , koi hansi, koi aansoo, koi dilkashi, koi aahat mujhe bechain na kar sake gi kiyone,….
Ab main yeh samjh gayee hooN ke zakhm hi wafaa karte haiN, yeh dukh ka shajar hi phal deta hai, yeh garm aansoo hi diloN ko piglaate haiN aur sab se sacha ishQ hi ishq e Khuda hai jo kabhi na chodne ki dhamki deta hai aur na hi chod ke jaata hai. Main jaan gayee hooN ke tumhari fitrat meiN kisi aik ka hona nahiN likha, par wo khuda aik hai jo usi ka hota hai wo uska ho jaata hai aur ab maine khud ko bas usi ka karna hai. Tumhara be had shukriya ke tumne mujhe zkhamoN ki saughaat di aur inho zakhmoN pe phir zkahm diye aur phir diye aur inhieN naasoor bana kar mujhe muhabbat se baghaawat bana diya. Main husn hooN par mujhe ab nafrat hai lafz e muhabbat se, mujhe har uss izhaar se nafrat hai jis meiN muhabbat ka zikr hai mujhe bas ab muhabbat hai to bas waahid laa shareek se. Wo dekho uss veeraane meiN aik talaab hai jahaN koi gul nahiN khilta, dekho wahaN uss talaab meiN aik gul e kanwal khilta hai, jo khud tanhayee ke andhere meiN doob kar veeraane ko raunaQ bakhashta hai main bhi ab ussi kanwal ki taraH veeranoN meiN zindagi ki ramaQ bakhshooN gi ke roshniyaN mera muqadar nahiN hai, kaatib e taqdeer ne uss kanwal ki tarah mere liye bhi shayed paani ko hi chunna hai, AankhoN se nikalta hua dil ka surkh paani. Aur iss paani ko baha bahaa ke main jaan gayee hooN ke “Tu ishq ka but kada hai” jahaN sadiyoN se maasoom insaanoN ki qurbaaniyaN di jaa rhai haiN aur di jaati raheiN gi lekin to wo ishQ ka but kada hai ke jahaN pathroN se sar takraane ke baawajood bhi kabhi faiz ki soorat nahiN mil sakti. HaaN maine yeh khud ko mitaa ke jaan lia hai ke “Tu ishq ka but kada hai”. ”