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Post by Atif Mirza on Apr 23, 2008 19:04:29 GMT 5
Jee Atif Bhai jaan uss waqt ghar mein bahut si problem chal rahi thiiN meri beti ki tabeeyat theek nahin rehti thi aur ek mera bila hai woh bhi ab tak treatment par hai bas issi liye bazm mein kam aa pati thi.Allah ke fazl se ab dono kuch behtar hain so yahan aana hota rehta hai. khush rahen. Kiya huwa aap ki beti ko, Allah Taala say dua hai keh woh aap ki beti ko seht-e-kamila ataa farmaay aur aap kay Billay ko bhi thhek karay!
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Post by Atif Mirza on Apr 23, 2008 19:07:23 GMT 5
Hindi MatroN par likhi hoe is behr ki rawani hamesha say bahut shuara ko mutasir karti aei hay isnshah nay apnay rang mein is ko ranga aur nasir kazmi ki kitab Pehli Barish mein nasir nay apnay andaz mein us rawan behr mein likha jahan ye rawan aur mutaranam berh hay wahan is ka masla bhi is ki rawani he hay ke is ki rawani mein qalaam thirakta chala jata hay aut takhleeq kahin peechay reh jati hay is ghazal kay sath bhi yehi hoa thirakti hoe is ghazal mein rachao tu hay magar khialat kay etabar say yakrangi fiza hay. aqeel Tau kia yak rangee buri baat hai? Do rangee ki tau Iqbal nay bhi mukhalifat ki thi! Aap ka tabsara sar aaNkhoN per, SOchnay aur tawajja denay ka shukriya
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Post by Atif Mirza on Apr 23, 2008 19:11:33 GMT 5
Aatif saab, Behr khoobsoorat hai lekin is ghazal pe nazr-e-saani ki zroorat hai. Misaal ke tor pe…meine aapke second last sher pe (khiyal ko madd-e-nazar rakhtey hooey) mashwarey ki juratt ki hai …… Jab bhi mujhko tu yad aaya Jhank ke dilke ander dekha Ab dekhen pehley misra zra sa badla hai, khayal wohi hai: Jab jab tujhko dekhna chaha Jhank ke dilke ander dekha Ye sirf aur sirf aik dostana mashwara hai! Khush rahen, Saeed Saeed Bhai aap ka mashwara na qabil-eqabool hai kiyoon keh woh Iqbal ka chhapa ho jata hai keh: - Ho deed ka jo shouq tau aaNkoN ko baNd kar Hai dekhna yehi ke na dekha karay koi Behr ki khoob soorti ki tareef ka haqdaar tau woh hai jiss nay iss behr ki ikhteraa ki thi magar meray hissay maiN aap ki taraf say sirf tawajja aa saki jo meray liay kafi hai. Aap ka bahut shukriya. Nazr-e-saani zaroor karooN ga.
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Post by sunita on Apr 23, 2008 19:37:56 GMT 5
Jee Atif Bhai jaan uss waqt ghar mein bahut si problem chal rahi thiiN meri beti ki tabeeyat theek nahin rehti thi aur ek mera bila hai woh bhi ab tak treatment par hai bas issi liye bazm mein kam aa pati thi.Allah ke fazl se ab dono kuch behtar hain so yahan aana hota rehta hai. khush rahen. Kiya huwa aap ki beti ko, Allah Taala say dua hai keh woh aap ki beti ko seht-e-kamila ataa farmaay aur aap kay Billay ko bhi thhek karay! bahut bahut shukariya Atif bhai, aise waqt mein duaaon ki hi zayaada zaroorat hoti hai aur apno ki duaayen hamesha kaam aati haiN Bile ji ki spine mein tumor hone ki wajah se unhe chemotherapy di jaa rahi hai, aur khuda ka shukar hai ki dawaa kaam kar rahi hai.janwar bhi apne bachon jaise hote hain jab unhe 1 maheene ka le kar paala ho aur ab woh maashAllah 13 saal ka ho gaya hai beti ka bhi Allah behtar karega.
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Post by sunita on Apr 23, 2008 19:39:49 GMT 5
Aatif saab, Behr khoobsoorat hai lekin is ghazal pe nazr-e-saani ki zroorat hai. Misaal ke tor pe…meine aapke second last sher pe (khiyal ko madd-e-nazar rakhtey hooey) mashwarey ki juratt ki hai …… Jab bhi mujhko tu yad aaya Jhank ke dilke ander dekha Ab dekhen pehley misra zra sa badla hai, khayal wohi hai: Jab jab tujhko dekhna chaha Jhank ke dilke ander dekha Ye sirf aur sirf aik dostana mashwara hai! Khush rahen, Saeed Saeed Bhai aap ka mashwara na qabil-eqabool hai kiyoon keh woh Iqbal ka chhapa ho jata hai keh: - Ho deed ka jo shouq tau aaNkoN ko baNd kar Hai dekhna yehi ke na dekha karay koi Behr ki khoob soorti ki tareef ka haqdaar tau woh hai jiss nay iss behr ki ikhteraa ki thi magar meray hissay maiN aap ki taraf say sirf tawajja aa saki jo meray liay kafi hai. Aap ka bahut shukriya. Nazr-e-saani zaroor karooN ga. Atif ji aap ka sher apni khoobsoorati mein hi theek lagega, badalne ki gunzaaiish nahin hai, yeh meri soch hai.
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Post by saeed on Apr 24, 2008 8:00:30 GMT 5
Aatif saab, Behr khoobsoorat hai lekin is ghazal pe nazr-e-saani ki zroorat hai. Misaal ke tor pe…meine aapke second last sher pe (khiyal ko madd-e-nazar rakhtey hooey) mashwarey ki juratt ki hai …… Jab bhi mujhko tu yad aaya Jhank ke dilke ander dekha Ab dekhen pehley misra zra sa badla hai, khayal wohi hai: Jab jab tujhko dekhna chaha Jhank ke dilke ander dekha Ye sirf aur sirf aik dostana mashwara hai! Khush rahen, Saeed Saeed Bhai aap ka mashwara na qabil-eqabool hai kiyoon keh woh Iqbal ka chhapa ho jata hai keh: - Ho deed ka jo shouq tau aaNkoN ko baNd kar Hai dekhna yehi ke na dekha karay koi Behr ki khoob soorti ki tareef ka haqdaar tau woh hai jiss nay iss behr ki ikhteraa ki thi magar meray hissay maiN aap ki taraf say sirf tawajja aa saki jo meray liay kafi hai. Aap ka bahut shukriya. Nazr-e-saani zaroor karooN ga. Aatif saheb, Doston ki muhabbat hai ke app ko nazr-e-sani ka mashwara diya aur aapka zarf hai ke aap ne maan liya! Shaeri mein aagey janey keliye ye hosla buhut zroori hai! khush rahen saeed
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Post by Atif Mirza on Apr 27, 2008 8:18:40 GMT 5
muhtram Atif kai bar aap ki post ko khola aur paRha reply agli fursat ki nazr ki aaj bhi masroofiyat maen kami nahen hai lekin ji chah raha hai aap ki shairi par guftago ki jaey soch raha hoon aisa likhon jo paRhnay kay qabil ho aap ki is ghazal maen fanni taur par koi kharabi nahen hai zubaan ka bhi koi masala nahen hai lekin shairi kam hai wo shairi jis ki waja say aap shair haen chaliey pehlay khiyaal par baat kartay haen khiyaal aisay bhi hotay haen jo aam hotay haen masalan ''hath say gilaas gira'' ab jhat say agli baat samajh aati hai kay '' toot gaya '' aik khiyaal yeh bhi hai '' teray dar say dhutkaray janay kay baad maen kahaen ka na ho saka '' ab in dono kisam kay khiyaal maen aik baat saaf hai kay dosray khiyal acha hai
aap naen matla kaha toota saghar dekha aur wo aap ko bhiyanak laga pehli baat to us maen bhiyanak lagnay wali koi baat nahen dosri baat agar hai bhi to yeh koi chonka denay wali baat nahen lihaza ye sher to hai par bahut aala nahen
jab aap naen aik ujRa ghar dekha to aap ko khauf naen ghair liya zahir hai ujRa ghar daikh kar dukh ho sakta hai ya khauf aa sakta hai
ji to chah raha tha kay tafseel say baat karta lekin phir aik zaroori kaam ki waja say jana para kher har sher par guftago zaroori nahen aap naen ghazal likhi aur post ki bahut say dostoon naen is par tanqeed bhi ki raey bhi di meri aik raey hai ghazal likhaen to kuch naya likhaen kiyon kay wo baat bolo jo likhnay kay qabil ho aur wo baat likho jo bolnay kay qabil ho
maen ummeed karta hoon aap meri baat par ghaur farmaen gay Aap nay sirf dau ashaar per tabsra kia hai. Lihaza maiN aap kay iss tabsray ko namukaamal shumaar kartay huway iss per kuch nahiN kahooN ga. Aap agar qurbani daiN aur mukammal tabsra karaiN tau aap ki baat qabil-e-tawwajah shumaar ho gi. Agar aap waqt manage nahiN kar saktay tau phir kabhi sahi......
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Post by khalid on Apr 27, 2008 23:02:26 GMT 5
Saeed Bhai aap ka mashwara na qabil-eqabool hai kiyoon keh woh Iqbal ka chhapa ho jata hai keh: - Ho deed ka jo shouq tau aaNkoN ko baNd kar Hai dekhna yehi ke na dekha karay koi Behr ki khoob soorti ki tareef ka haqdaar tau woh hai jiss nay iss behr ki ikhteraa ki thi magar meray hissay maiN aap ki taraf say sirf tawajja aa saki jo meray liay kafi hai. Aap ka bahut shukriya. Nazr-e-saani zaroor karooN ga. Aatif saheb, Doston ki muhabbat hai ke app ko nazr-e-sani ka mashwara diya aur aapka zarf hai ke aap ne maan liya! Shaeri mein aagey janey keliye ye hosla buhut zroori hai! khush rahen saeed khushi huii saeed sb ke aap jo kuch roz pehley tak sar e aam tanqeed ke mukhaalif they, aaj ussi iqdaam ko hausela kehney ka hausela ferma rahe haiN.
der asl is ko hi seekhna kehtey haiN. shaairi to sirf bahaana hai, der asl aik doosrey ko berdaasht kerna hi husn hai in forums per mukaalemoN ka.
is khush aaiNd aur mantaqi U turn per meiree jaanib sey mubarakbaad qubool keeje!
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Post by saeed on Apr 28, 2008 4:45:57 GMT 5
Aatif saheb, Doston ki muhabbat hai ke app ko nazr-e-sani ka mashwara diya aur aapka zarf hai ke aap ne maan liya! Shaeri mein aagey janey keliye ye hosla buhut zroori hai! khush rahen saeed khushi huii saeed sb ke aap jo kuch roz pehley tak sar e aam tanqeed ke mukhaalif they, aaj ussi iqdaam ko hausela kehney ka hausela ferma rahe haiN.
der asl is ko hi seekhna kehtey haiN. shaairi to sirf bahaana hai, der asl aik doosrey ko berdaasht kerna hi husn hai in forums per mukaalemoN ka.
is khush aaiNd aur mantaqi U turn per meiree jaanib sey mubarakbaad qubool keeje! Qibla Khalid sb, Mujhey aapsey aisy he ghissey-pittey tanz ki tawaqqo thi! Mein bachgana tanqueed ya gher-shayesta tanz (jo aapka asasa hai) ke bajaye mashwarey mein yaqeen rakhta hoon. Agar aapkey chashmey aapko dagha nahen de rahey to yeh pehli post nahen jismein meine mashwara diya ho….ya bakhushi qabool kiya ho. Phir Aatif sb ke reaction se bhi mera point wazih hua hai ke shaer log hassas hotey aur tanqeed ya mashwara soch smajh ker dena chahiye. Aur phir mein ghalat sher pe daad deney ko bhi bad-diyanti smajhta hoon! Baherhal, aapki is post se yeh to roze-roshan ki tarah wazih hogaya hai is forum pe aapko shaeri ya sher ki muhabbat nahen lati…. Faraz sb ne kiya khub kaha hai keh…. Apni mehroomi ke ehsaas se shaminda hain Khud nahen rakhtey hain auron ke bujhatey hain cheraagh Aadaab!!! Saeed
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Post by Aqeel Malik on Apr 28, 2008 18:26:58 GMT 5
Mayri Raey kay matabiq agar koe mashwara dayta hay tu is point of view say sochna chaheay ke wo bhalay kay leay dayraha hay kiun ke mein samajhta hon ke shair khasoosan sher suntay hoeay kabhi baddianat nahi hota kiun ke wo lutf ko acha sher sunnay say hota hay shayad likhnay say nahi milta behr kaif is behs ko yahan samait kar apni tawanae takhleeqiayt ki taraf kharch karna ziada ahsan hoga aur mazeed jawad dar jjawab ka silsila nahi hona chaheay ke yehi shaista rawi ki nishani hay.....
aqeel
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Post by Atif Mirza on Apr 28, 2008 18:52:51 GMT 5
Mayri Raey kay matabiq agar koe mashwara dayta hay tu is point of view say sochna chaheay ke wo bhalay kay leay dayraha hay kiun ke mein samajhta hon ke shair khasoosan sher suntay hoeay kabhi baddianat nahi hota kiun ke wo lutf ko acha sher sunnay say hota hay shayad likhnay say nahi milta behr kaif is behs ko yahan samait kar apni tawanae takhleeqiayt ki taraf kharch karna ziada ahsan hoga aur mazeed jawad dar jjawab ka silsila nahi hona chaheay ke yehi shaista rawi ki nishani hay..... aqeel Aqeel aap nay jo tabsra kia tha main nay uss kay baaray maiN yehi likha tha na, "Aap ka mashwara sar aaNkhoN per." Ab kia maiN aap say yeh guzarish karta keh aap bahut mahaan haiN, aap nay mairi shaeri per tabsra kar kay mera maan baRha diya hai, tau janb mujh say yeh nahiN ho sakta. Bahar haal aap ki iss soch ki taareef zaroor karooN ga jo aap nay behs ko samaitnay ka kaha.
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Post by Aqeel Malik on Apr 28, 2008 19:00:13 GMT 5
Sir Shayad ap mayri baat ka bura man gaey i m realy sory sir and i will be more carefull.
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Post by Atif Mirza on Apr 29, 2008 0:00:10 GMT 5
Baat mind karnay ki nahiN, Mujhay sirf yeh cheez buri lagi ke maiN nay aap say aik sawal poocha aur saath aap ki observation ko acknowledge kartay huway ussay sar aaNkhoN per rakha, uss kay ba-wajood aap nay hathoRa group wala behaviour dikha diya. This is not on my dear! MainN nay kabhi kissi ki tanqeed ko meHsoos nahiN kia, jahaN tak mashwaroN ki baat hai, maiN nay aksar mashwaray qabool bhi kiay aur unn ki madad say apni shaeri maiN tabdeeli bhi ki. Magar woh mashwaray bhi dil ko lagtay thay, bay ja ki baat nahiN thi. YahaN masala yeh chal paRa hai keh kuch loag apni ilmiat jhaRnay kay liay chaNd motay motay lughati alfaaz likh detay haiN, dau aik behroN kay naam yaad haiN aur dau chaar fiqray kahiN say unhoN nay copy kar kay unn maiN halki phulki tabdeeli kar kay guzara kar rahay haiN, kuchh shareef qism kay members bay-charay sharafat maiN maaray jaatay haiN aur khamosh rehtay haiN. Intezamia maiN hotay huway hamari koshish yeh hoti hai keh yahaN koi bad-mazgii na ho, magar yeh open forum hai yahaN logoN ko tanqeed say roka nahiN ja sakta haiN magar yeh tau kia jaskta keh unhaiN zabita akhlaaq samjhaya jaasakta hay.
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