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Post by saeedsaeed on Jun 21, 2008 15:39:52 GMT 5
aoa MAIN THUMEEN PHER BHI YAR SAEED hy kahoon ga kiyon kay main tum ko apna dost samajhta hoon aur dosto sy ayesy bat karny mein koyee aar nhin samajhata umeed karta hoon thumeen bura na lagy ga
bahar hall YAR SAEED bhi theeky hy thumary liye kiyon kay nam nhin balkay ap kay share bolty hian i thnk and rest uptp u waht u think ok yar saeed ab ejazat chahta hoon bye remember me in urs prayers and thoughts Mubashir
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Post by Sukhanwar on Jun 21, 2008 22:58:52 GMT 5
eik taza ghazal jo ho rahi hai....dostoNki nazr... Ab na khwahish na kisi khwaab ka reisha dil meiN Phir bhi ek dard sa rehta hai hameisha dil meiN Kohkan aur terey sehraouN ki be-khaanmaN reit Khub gaya phir se terey hijr ka teisha dil meiN YuN to rehta hai masihaouN ka aana jaana Humne rakha usi qatil ko hameisha dil meiN Be-dili ab ke muhabbat meiN ajab hai ke Saeed Khauf jeeney ka na marney ka undesha dil meiN Izafa: Usney aankhoN meiN jageh di hai to kiya kam hai Saeed kaun rakhta hai meri jaan hameisha dil mein khoob saeed bhai maazrat chaahta hoon k kai roz baad aap ki ghazal tak pohancha asal main hum yahan load sheding k jis mahol main ji rahay hain us main kai roz net sy raabta mumkin nahin hota boht umda ghazal aur rafi sahab nay drust kaha k boht tang qafiay k saath yeh ghazl kahi aap nay aur umdsa mazameen nikal rahay hain YuN to rehta hai masihaouN ka aana jaana Humne rakha usi qatil ko hameisha dil meiN kamal hay bahi daad qabool kijiay thanx razi
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Post by Sukhanwar on Jun 22, 2008 23:19:02 GMT 5
Lijiay Saeed Bhai! aap ki ghazal compose kar kay laga di hai. Bahut achhchhi ghazal hai, daad bhi qabool kijiay. Bus aik naqs meHsoos ho raha hai woh hai aakhri sher maiN lafz "Andaisha" theek wazan maiN nahiN aa raha hai. Iss ka "noon" aap kay mutabiq "noon ghunnaa" maiN badal raha hai jo keh lafz ko wazan say kharij kar raha hai. Ba-raah-e-karam iss nuktay ki wazahat farma dijiay. taakeh meri uljhan door ho. Umeed hai keh iss nuktay ko tanqeed baraay tanqeed nahiN gardaanaa jaay ga. Jawab ka intizaar rahay ga.
Aatif mian, Buhut nawazish ke aapney is ghazal ko Urdu mein khubsoorati se compose kerke post kiya! Aapney lafz ‘Andeisha’ ke hawaley se acha point uthaya hai. Merey mehdood ilm ke mutabiq lafz ‘andeisha’ mein noon sakin hai aur adayegi aisey he hai jesey lafz ‘Andaaz’ mein. Jahan tak baat wazan ki hai, agar ‘andeisha’ ko noon elieheda kerkey ‘an deisha’ paRha jaye to phir misera wazan se kharij ho sakta hai. Be-dili ab ke muhabbat meiN ajab hai ke Saeed Khauf jeeney ka na marney ka andeisha dil meiN Baher-soorat, yahaN forum meiN buhut se aisey dost haiN jinki nazar zubaan aur bahoor pe mujh se kahen ziadeh gehri hai. Mein bhi aapki tarah khuley dilse dostoNkey ilm se mustafeed hona chahata hooN. Ghazal ki pazeerayi keliye bhi buhut mashkoor hoon! Khush rahen, Saeed saeed sahab aur aatif sahab aap ki yeh behas kul bhi meri nazar say guzri thee main is lafz k baaray main kul bhi wazaahat kar dayta magar main nay munasib jaana k is baaray main raay mukamal tasdeek k baad doon kul main ny jo reply dia us main is nuqtay par daanista baat nahi ki meri raay yeh hy k lafz andaysha main noon mukamal wazaahat k saath istamaal ho ga is main noon par tashdeed hay aur yeh lafz AN-DAYSHA hay lughat nay bhi is ki tasdeeq ki hy yeh lfz faarsi ka hy aur faarsi main jahan bhi noon kisi lafz k darmyaan main istamaal ho ga mukamal aylaan k saath istamal ho ga haan albata hindi main isay dono tara istamaal kar saktay hain aik misaal ahmad nadim qasmi ki fori taur par yaad aa rahi hay watan k hawalay say un ki aik nazm hay jis ka pehla shair ghaliban yoon hay meray watan teri arz e paak par utray woh fasl e gul jisay andaysha e zawal na ho iqbal nay bhi aik do jaga is lafz ko isi tara baandha hy magar iqbal ka shair is waqt zehn main nahin thanx razi
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noshi
ibtidaai rukn
Posts: 31
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Post by noshi on Jun 24, 2008 4:38:40 GMT 5
Saeed,
Aapki daleel mohtaram sahi magar mein ab bhi apni raey pr israr kerti hun. Musafir mizaj hona aur be.khanuman hona boaht mukhtalif mosam hai. Aur phir apney apney tajrubey ki baat hai...
Noshi
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Post by saeed on Jun 24, 2008 5:10:08 GMT 5
Razi bhai, Der-ayad drust ayad!!!
Seniors ke raye buhut qeemti hotey hai aur aapke alfaz se mujey hamesha ki tarah buhut hosla mila hai.
Buhut nawazish!
saeed
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Post by saeed on Jun 24, 2008 5:13:26 GMT 5
aoa MAIN THUMEEN PHER BHI YAR SAEED hy kahoon ga kiyon kay main tum ko apna dost samajhta hoon aur dosto sy ayesy bat karny mein koyee aar nhin samajhata umeed karta hoon thumeen bura na lagy ga bahar hall YAR SAEED bhi theeky hy thumary liye kiyon kay nam nhin balkay ap kay share bolty hian i thnk and rest uptp u waht u think ok yar saeed ab ejazat chahta hoon bye remember me in urs prayers and thoughts Mubashir Mubashir, thek hai...aur ab meine bhi tumhen YAR SAEED he kahonga... Khush raho Saeed
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Post by saeed on Jun 24, 2008 5:22:33 GMT 5
Aatif mian, Buhut nawazish ke aapney is ghazal ko Urdu mein khubsoorati se compose kerke post kiya! Aapney lafz ‘Andeisha’ ke hawaley se acha point uthaya hai. Merey mehdood ilm ke mutabiq lafz ‘andeisha’ mein noon sakin hai aur adayegi aisey he hai jesey lafz ‘Andaaz’ mein. Jahan tak baat wazan ki hai, agar ‘andeisha’ ko noon elieheda kerkey ‘an deisha’ paRha jaye to phir misera wazan se kharij ho sakta hai. Be-dili ab ke muhabbat meiN ajab hai ke Saeed Khauf jeeney ka na marney ka andeisha dil meiN Baher-soorat, yahaN forum meiN buhut se aisey dost haiN jinki nazar zubaan aur bahoor pe mujh se kahen ziadeh gehri hai. Mein bhi aapki tarah khuley dilse dostoNkey ilm se mustafeed hona chahata hooN. Ghazal ki pazeerayi keliye bhi buhut mashkoor hoon! Khush rahen, Saeed saeed sahab aur aatif sahab aap ki yeh behas kul bhi meri nazar say guzri thee main is lafz k baaray main kul bhi wazaahat kar dayta magar main nay munasib jaana k is baaray main raay mukamal tasdeek k baad doon kul main ny jo reply dia us main is nuqtay par daanista baat nahi ki meri raay yeh hy k lafz andaysha main noon mukamal wazaahat k saath istamaal ho ga is main noon par tashdeed hay aur yeh lafz AN-DAYSHA hay lughat nay bhi is ki tasdeeq ki hy yeh lfz faarsi ka hy aur faarsi main jahan bhi noon kisi lafz k darmyaan main istamaal ho ga mukamal aylaan k saath istamal ho ga haan albata hindi main isay dono tara istamaal kar saktay hain aik misaal ahmad nadim qasmi ki fori taur par yaad aa rahi hay watan k hawalay say un ki aik nazm hay jis ka pehla shair ghaliban yoon hay meray watan teri arz e paak par utray woh fasl e gul jisay andaysha e zawal na ho iqbal nay bhi aik do jaga is lafz ko isi tara baandha hy magar iqbal ka shair is waqt zehn main nahin thanx razi Razi bhai, maza aagaya! Aapki wazahat se merey aur Atif mian ke ilm mein izafa hua hai....aur lafz andeisha aur iska istemaal wazih hogaya hai...... Buhut nawazish aur aayenda bhi hamen apni raye se mehrrom na kejiyega. Mamnoon, Saeed
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Post by nazghazal on Jun 24, 2008 13:37:36 GMT 5
eik taza ghazal jo ho rahi hai....dostoNki nazr... Ab na khwahish na kisi khwaab ka reisha dil meiN Phir bhi ek dard sa rehta hai hameisha dil meiN Kohkan aur terey sehraouN ki be-khaanmaN reit Khub gaya phir se terey hijr ka teisha dil meiN YuN to rehta hai masihaouN ka aana jaana Humne rakha usi qatil ko hameisha dil meiN Be-dili ab ke muhabbat meiN ajab hai ke Saeed Khauf jeeney ka na marney ka undesha dil meiN Izafa: Usney aankhoN meiN jageh di hai to kiya kam hai Saeed kaun rakhta hai meri jaan hameisha dil mein achi tehreer hai aapki khaas tor pe naya izaafa bohot pasand aaya daad haazir hai naz ghazal
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Post by saeed on Jun 26, 2008 4:38:48 GMT 5
Naz Ghazal saheba,
Buhut nawazish aapki. Saeed
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Post by Atif Mirza on Jun 28, 2008 20:04:38 GMT 5
Aatif mian, Buhut nawazish ke aapney is ghazal ko Urdu mein khubsoorati se compose kerke post kiya! Aapney lafz ?Andeisha? ke hawaley se acha point uthaya hai. Merey mehdood ilm ke mutabiq lafz ?andeisha? mein noon sakin hai aur adayegi aisey he hai jesey lafz ?Andaaz? mein. Jahan tak baat wazan ki hai, agar ?andeisha? ko noon elieheda kerkey ?an deisha? paRha jaye to phir misera wazan se kharij ho sakta hai. Be-dili ab ke muhabbat meiN ajab hai ke Saeed Khauf jeeney ka na marney ka andeisha dil meiN Baher-soorat, yahaN forum meiN buhut se aisey dost haiN jinki nazar zubaan aur bahoor pe mujh se kahen ziadeh gehri hai. Mein bhi aapki tarah khuley dilse dostoNkey ilm se mustafeed hona chahata hooN. Ghazal ki pazeerayi keliye bhi buhut mashkoor hoon! Khush rahen, Saeed Saeed Ji! Go keh Razi bhai nay wazahat kar di hai laikin maiN iss lafz kay baaray maiN mukammal maaloomaat aap kay mulahizay kay liay yahaN paste kar raha hooN.
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Post by rooh on Jun 29, 2008 14:05:41 GMT 5
saeed sahab salam
aap ki ghalar parhii bahot khoobsurat hai
ye do sher bahot pasand aaye
Be-dili ab ke muhabbat meiN ajab hai ke Saeed Khauf jeeney ka na marney ka undesha dil meiN
Usney aankhoN meiN jageh di hai to kiya kam hai Saeed kaun rakhta hai meri jaan hameisha dil mein
aap ko humari taraf se bahot sii daad
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