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Post by nadeem on Apr 19, 2008 2:46:07 GMT 5
muhtram dosto baaz auqaat insaan apnay andar itna doob jata hai kay us ka dam ghutnay lagta hai aisay maen wo baghi ho kar bahar nikalta hai aaj kal maen bhi bahar ki taraf aa raha hoon aisay hi lamhay aik ghazal aur ho gai aap ki khidmat maen hazir hai khas taur par muhtarma naheed aur sunita ki nazr apni tanhai sajatay howay ye raaz khula kiya hai tu? phool banatay howay ye raaz khula aagahi cheen liya karti hai chehray ka nikhaar tujh ko maloom batatay howay yeh raaz khula halat e haal maen lazim nahen laey ka hona mehfil e raqs jamatay howay yeh raaz khula koi ho kar bhi teray jesa nahen ho sakta teri tasweer banatay howay yeh raaz khula mujh maen sachaii ka ik sur hai jahan bhar say alag apni aawaaz sunatay howay yeh raaz khula muntazir Nadeem Bhabha www.nadeembhabha.com
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Post by khalid on Apr 19, 2008 9:23:11 GMT 5
mohtaram ghazal k liye daad qubool keeje!
teesrey she'r meiN "haalat e haal' thoRa mubham hai! haal ka matlab 'present' bhi ho sakta hai aur haalat e ''wajd'' bhi.
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Post by nadeem on Apr 19, 2008 10:58:56 GMT 5
mubham nahen meray bhai dono matalib maen istamaal ho raha hai daad dena ka bahut shukriya
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Post by saeedsaeed on Apr 19, 2008 14:46:43 GMT 5
aoa nadeem bahi jann i hope u will be very best at urs health and life, dadd qabool karain es kamyab ghazal par, ap ki ghazal parhty hoye har share ka matlab wazeeha hota gaya, par aik misry ka matalb wazeh na ho saka,
''aagahi cheen liya karti hai chehray ka nikhaar'' kafi deer soochta raha kay es ka matlab keya ho sakta hay, ap ny kis aagahi ki bat ki hay, pher apny aik dost ko ghazal sunaye aur es misry kay bary mein ghuftago hoye, thora sa mamla hal howa, par ap sy request hy zara sa samjha dain es misry kay bary mein, shukar ghuzar rahoon ga, sary ghazal acchy hy, sab misry jandar har, daad kay qabil hain, ap aj kal jis halat e hall mein hain es mein insaan sy bohot khuch hota hy, ap es halat mein aur bhi khcuh bhi kaheen, ALLAH ap ko aur zeyada sy zeyada taraqi dy,
aik bar pher daad qabool karain duwa go Mubashir Saeed france aag ko phool banatay howay ye raaz khula mujh pay ik shama jalatay howay ye raaz khula
aagahi cheen liya karti hai chehray ka nikhaar tujh ko maloom batatay howay yeh raaz khula
halat e haal maen lazim nahen laey ka hona mehfil e raqs jamatay howay yeh raaz khula
koi ho kar bhi teray jesa nahen ho sakta teri tasweer banatay howay yeh raaz khula
mujh maen sachaii ka ik sur hai jahan bhar say alag apni aawaaz sunatay howay yeh raaz khula
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Post by nadeem on Apr 19, 2008 15:16:01 GMT 5
aanay walay waqt ka andaza ya maloomaat ko aagahi kehtay haen qainaat maen jo kuch ho raha hai aur jo hona hai wo hamaray piyaray Rasool bata gaey haen is liey usay ham malooom kahaen gay aur jo honay wala hai wo ham sab ko nazar aa raha hai aisay halaat maen chehray ki raunaq kahan baqi reh sakti hai
jab maen usay aanay walay waqt ka (maloom) bata raha tha to us ka chehra utar raha tha aur jo roop saroop tha wo khatm hota ja raha tha tab ye raaz khula kay aagahi chehray ka nikhaar cheen leti hai maslan fikr e aakhrat bhi insaan kay chehray ki raunaq khatm kar deti hai
ummeed hai wazeh howa ho ga
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Post by Rafi Tabasum on Apr 20, 2008 2:17:05 GMT 5
Waqaee andar say bahar aati hui ghazal Nadeem sahib matla aap kay mayaar ka nahi lagta baaqee saray ashaar khud aap kay honay ki gwahee day rahay haiN
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Post by saeed on Apr 20, 2008 5:25:05 GMT 5
muhtram dosto baaz auqaat insaan apnay andar itna doob jata hai kay us ka dam ghutnay lagta hai aisay maen wo baghi ho kar bahar nikalta hai aaj kal maen bhi bahar ki taraf aa raha hoon aisay hi lamhay aik ghazal aur ho gai aap ki khidmat maen hazir hai khas taur par muhtarma naheed aur sunita ki nazr (Q) kiya hai tu? phool banatay howay ye raaz khula apni tanhai sajatay howay ye raaz khula aagahi cheen liya karti hai chehray ka nikhaar tujh ko maloom batatay howay yeh raaz khula halat e haal maen lazim nahen laey ka hona mehfil e raqs jamatay howay yeh raaz khula koi ho kar bhi teray jesa nahen ho sakta teri tasweer banatay howay yeh raaz khula mujh maen sachaii ka ik sur hai jahan bhar say alag apni aawaaz sunatay howay yeh raaz khula muntazir Nadeem Bhabha www.nadeembhabha.comNadeem saab, Taza ghazal share karney ka shukriya. Jesa ke rafi bhai aur Mubashar saab ne bhi ishara kiya hai…pehley do ashaar pe nazr-e-sani kerljyega. Yeh ashaar bilkhasos buhut pasand aaye: koi ho kar bhi teray jesa nahen ho sakta teri tasweer banatay howay yeh raaz khula halat e haal maen lazim nahen laey ka hona mehfil e raqs jamatay howay yeh raaz khula Dua hai ke aapki haalat-e-haal aapko mastoN ki us basti tak le jaye jahan shor bazat-e khud eik khamosh tanhai ka saaman karta hai aur ghunchoN ki chatakh, pattoN ki sargoshiyaaN aur sochoN ki sarsrahat saaf sunayi deti hai…. Faraz sb ka isi aalam ka eik sher hai…’Aye Ishq-e-junoN Paisha’ se: Idher udher se kei aarahi haiN aawazeN Aur uska dhiyaan buhut inhemaak chahata hai Khus rahen, Saeed
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Post by Atif Mirza on Apr 20, 2008 21:39:59 GMT 5
Ghazal achchi hai nadeem bhai , daad hazir hai magar aik misray per etraz hai:-
tujh ko maloom batatay howay yeh raaz khula
Yeh "maloom batatna" koi bhi fe'l nahiN banta Urdu maiN..... Lihaza iss per nazr-e-saani farma lijiay.
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Post by naheedv on Apr 21, 2008 5:13:20 GMT 5
muhtram dosto baaz auqaat insaan apnay andar itna doob jata hai kay us ka dam ghutnay lagta hai aisay maen wo baghi ho kar bahar nikalta hai aaj kal maen bhi bahar ki taraf aa raha hoon aisay hi lamhay aik ghazal aur ho gai aap ki khidmat maen hazir hai khas taur par muhtarma naheed aur sunita ki nazr (Q) kiya hai tu? phool banatay howay ye raaz khula apni tanhai sajatay howay ye raaz khula aagahi cheen liya karti hai chehray ka nikhaar tujh ko maloom batatay howay yeh raaz khula halat e haal maen lazim nahen laey ka hona mehfil e raqs jamatay howay yeh raaz khula koi ho kar bhi teray jesa nahen ho sakta teri tasweer banatay howay yeh raaz khula mujh maen sachaii ka ik sur hai jahan bhar say alag apni aawaaz sunatay howay yeh raaz khula muntazir Nadeem Bhabha www.nadeembhabha.comNadeem saahb, aap ne ghazal ko mere aur Sunita ke naam kiyaa, wajah tau naheeN jaanti magar khazal khoob hai. mujhey iss baat se buhat khushi ho rahi hai ke aap kee saabiqa ghazal par mere aur Sunita ke tabsare ne logoN meN aik aisee fikr pedaa kee hai jis se aap kee iss ghazal par faqat "waah waah" kehne ke bajaa'e kuch sawaalaat bhee karne kee himmat kee, warna tau iss forum par sirf daad.dahi hee hoti aayee hai. aap kee ghazal kaa matla' khoob hai, pasaNd aayaa. ghazal ke pehle she'r (matle' ke ba'd) aagahi cheen liya karti hai chehray ka nikhaar tujh ko maloom batatay howay yeh raaz khula par kuch dostoN ne sawaal uthaaye jin kaa aap ne jawaab bhee diyaa. waise tau she'r uljhaa huvaa naheeN hai aur apne ma'nee bhee bakhoobi adaa kar rahaa hai magar maiN samajhti hooN ke "ma'loom bataanaa" masa'la pedaa kar rahaa hai. maiN ghalat bhee ho sakti hooN. waise she'r khoob hai. shukriya Naheed
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Post by nadeem on Apr 22, 2008 1:04:54 GMT 5
muhtram Atif aur muhtarma naheed sahiba sab say pehlay to shukriya kay aap naen tawajjo di " maloom " aur aagahi ko aamnay samnay rakhaen to aik ism maen izafa sa peda hota hai pehli dafa jab mehboob ko mehbooba likha gaya tha to bhi ajeeb laga tha maen itna janta hoon kay sher apna matlab day raha hai is sher maen zoor bhi maloom par hai baqi ikhtalaaf ka haq to sab ko hai is maen koi aisi baat nahen meray khiyaal maen sher ki khobsurati maen farq nahen paRta
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Post by nadeem on Apr 22, 2008 1:12:54 GMT 5
muhtaram saeed sahib aur rafi sahib salam aap naen mashwaray diey maen naen modify kar diya ab matlay ki ye sorat dekhiey
apni tanhai sajatay howay ye raaz khula kiya hai tu? phool banatay howay ye raaz khula
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Post by Atif Mirza on Apr 22, 2008 18:14:48 GMT 5
muhtram Atif aur muhtarma naheed sahiba sab say pehlay to shukriya kay aap naen tawajjo di " maloom " aur aagahi ko aamnay samnay rakhaen to aik ism maen izafa sa peda hota hai pehli dafa jab mehboob ko mehbooba likha gaya tha to bhi ajeeb laga tha maen itna janta hoon kay sher apna matlab day raha hai is sher maen zoor bhi maloom par hai baqi ikhtalaaf ka haq to sab ko hai is maen koi aisi baat nahen meray khiyaal maen sher ki khobsurati maen farq nahen paRta Nadeem Bhai! Aap agar bura na manaiN tau meray aur naheed virk kay eteraz per zaroor tawajja inayat farmaiN kiyooN keh Urdu maiN Maaloom Batana koi fbhi f'el nahiN banta, ab aap kisi senior shaer say (jo Urdu per dast-rus rakhta ho, ya kum az kum jiss ki madri zaban Urdu ho) poochh lijiay. Meri apni yeh aadat hai keh jiss sher ya misray per kisi dost la etraz ho jaay maiN ussay hatt-ul-imkaan tabdeel kar deta hooN keh koi aainda ungli na uthaay. Umeed hai keh mujhay aik dost samajhtay huway meri kissi baat ko nagwaar mehsoos nahiN karaiN gay. Nawazish ho gi!!!!
Ahqar-ul-Ibaad Atif Mirza
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Post by nadeem on Apr 23, 2008 2:23:02 GMT 5
piyaray dost Atif Shukriya aap naen dubara tawajo dilai urdu meri bhi zubaan hai is maen kahaen maen bhi hissa daal sakta hoon aur is sher ki khaas baat bhi to yehi hai baqi ghazal ko dekhiey kesi hai issay mujh par choor diejiey mukhtalif honay maen ikhtilaaf karna bhi parta hai aur sehna bhi
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Post by nadeem on Apr 23, 2008 12:21:24 GMT 5
aray sunita sahiba maen mazrat khawh hoon asal maen bazm maen thora masala ye chal para hai kay fann par tanqeed kam aur tanqeed baraey tanqeed ziyada honay lag pari hai jis say seekha kam aur sikhana ziyada jhalakta hai is liey daad ki taraf to dhiyaan hi nahen jata kay is liey chook gaya maen mazrat khawh hoon aur wo raaz sahib nahen aaey jab kay maen to un ki aamad say pehlay aik pori ghazal un kay khulnay ki shaan maen likh chuka hoon jisay aap paRh bhi chuki haen khush rahaen
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Post by rooh on Apr 25, 2008 23:21:24 GMT 5
apni tanhai sajatay howay ye raaz khula kiya hai tu? phool banatay howay ye raaz khula
Personal opinion...Mediocre Matla hai (aap ke standard ka nahii)....aap kaise phool bana rahay thay?
halat e haal maen lazim nahen laey ka hona mehfil e raqs jamatay howay yeh raaz khula
Bahot khoob....Mastii samjhne waalon ke liye hai ye
koi ho kar bhi teray jesa nahen ho sakta teri tasweer banatay howay yeh raaz khula kyaa baat hai..khoob
Ek bahot achhi ghazal sunane ke liye shukriya...
Regards
Rooh
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