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Post by Atif Mirza on Oct 19, 2007 17:12:04 GMT 5
GUZARISHAAT Kha nahiN sakti akailay aam begum Dhoondti hai guthliyoN kay daam begum
Bailna matt marna sar per meray yooN Ho na jaay zindagi ki shaam begum
Baithnay day abb mujhay aaraam say too Kar chuka hooN ghar ka sara kaam begum
Jang si barpa hai roz-o-shab yahaN per Yeh hamara ghar hai ya hai laam begum
MaiN nay tau rakhkhi nahiN P A koi bhi Yeh hai bus tera khayal-e-khaam begum
MuddatoN say jaib khali hai meri tau Bhool ja ab saRhiyoN kay daam begum
Dard say bharpoor mairay qehqahay haiN Kar raha hooN yeh bhi tairay naam begumAtif Mirza ____________________________________________________ Laam = Maidan-e-Jang PA = Personal Assistent
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Post by Rafi Tabasum on Oct 19, 2007 22:45:36 GMT 5
GUZARISHAAT Kha nahiN sakti akailay aam begum Dhoondti hai guthliyoN kay daam begum
Bailna matt marna sar per meray Ho na jaay zindagi ki shaam begum
Baithnay day abb mujhay aaraam say Kar chuka hooN ghar ka sara kaam begum
Jitni doulat hai teray abba kay paas Keh day unn say, kar diaN mairay naam begum
Jang si barpa hai roz-o-shab yahaN Yeh hamara ghar hai ya hai laam begum
MaiN nay tau rakhkhi nahiN P A koi Yeh hai bus tera khayal-e-khaam begum
MuddatoN say jaib khali hai meri Bhool ja ab saRhiyoN kay daam begum
Dard say bharpoor mairay qehqahay Kar raha hooN yeh bhi tairay naam begumAtif Mirza ____________________________________________________ Laam = Maidan-e-Jang PA = Personal Assistent Mazah kay hwalay say achi ghazal Mirza sahib taba zaad mazah kehna waqaee dushwaar kaam hay lateefooN ko nazm karnay walooN kay hajoom maiN is tarah ki taba zaad mazahia shairi ghaneemat hoti hay main bhi isi tarah ka mazah kehta hooN isi liay yeh ghazal dil kay bohat qareeb mehsoos hui
matala kay elawa baqi tamaan shaerooN kay pehlay misrooN par zra nazar e sani ki guzarish zaroor karooN ga
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Post by khalid on Oct 19, 2007 23:20:13 GMT 5
atif sb khoob hazal kahi hai! daad qubooliye
rafi sb ne matley ke ilaava tamaam misroN per nazr e saani ka durust mashvara diya hai.
mere khayaal meiN rafi sb kuch yooN chaahtey haiN............
beilna met maar deina ser pe too
meire naaqis aql itna hi kaam kerti hai........
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Post by Rafi Tabasum on Oct 20, 2007 22:27:05 GMT 5
atif sb khoob hazal kahi hai! daad qubooliye
rafi sb ne matley ke ilaava tamaam misroN per nazr e saani ka durust mashvara diya hai.
mere khayaal meiN rafi sb kuch yooN chaahtey haiN............
beilna met maar deina ser pe too
meire naaqis aql itna hi kaam kerti hai........ Khalid sahib Shukria keh meri ta,eed ki magar mera kisi aur janib thaa zra ghaur farmaiN keh matla
Kha nahiN sakti akailay aam begum Dhoondti hai guthliyoN kay daam begum
bilkul sahi behr hay isi tarah har shaer ka dosra misra isi behr maiN hay jabkeh pehla misra kisi aur behr main hayBailna matt marna sar per meray Ho na jaay zindagi ki shaam begumab is shaer kay pehlay misray ko mayyar bana lia ja,ay to dosra misraBailna matt marna sar per meray Ho na jaay zindagi ki shaam beaana chaahiay isi tarah tamaam ashaar haiN
ho sakta hay mera tajziya ghalat ho magar mera naqus ilm yehi kehta hay
brah e karam isay tanqeed bra,ay tanqeed na samjha ja,ay. mera maqsad sirf aur sirf har ik haal maiN soch taameeri rakhni hay hi hay shukria
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Post by khalid on Oct 21, 2007 0:53:32 GMT 5
atif sb khoob hazal kahi hai! daad qubooliye
rafi sb ne matley ke ilaava tamaam misroN per nazr e saani ka durust mashvara diya hai.
mere khayaal meiN rafi sb kuch yooN chaahtey haiN............
beilna met maar deina ser pe too
meire naaqis aql itna hi kaam kerti hai........ Khalid sahib Shukria keh meri ta,eed ki magar mera kisi aur janib thaa zra ghaur farmaiN keh matla
Kha nahiN sakti akailay aam begum Dhoondti hai guthliyoN kay daam begum
bilkul sahi behr hay isi tarah har shaer ka dosra misra isi behr maiN hay jabkeh pehla misra kisi aur behr main hayBailna matt marna sar per meray Ho na jaay zindagi ki shaam begumab is shaer kay pehlay misray ko mayyar bana lia ja,ay to dosra misraBailna matt marna sar per meray Ho na jaay zindagi ki shaam beaana chaahiay isi tarah tamaam ashaar haiN
ho sakta hay mera tajziya ghalat ho magar mera naqus ilm yehi kehta hay
brah e karam isay tanqeed bra,ay tanqeed na samjha ja,ay. mera maqsad sirf aur sirf har ik haal maiN soch taameeri rakhni hay hi hay shukriamohtaram aap mujh se zyaada tecniques samajhtey haiN mujhey to aisa lag raha hai k kuch geR beR hai kya hai??? ye aap yaqeenan behter samajhte haiN. aur janaab maiN aap se bhi hesb e taufeeq seekhta hooN! is liye ye tanqeed baraaey tanqeed her giz nahiN hai! deikheN aatif 'saaheb' ;D kya kehtey haiN is silsiley meiN.
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Post by Rafi Tabasum on Oct 22, 2007 22:41:32 GMT 5
Atif Mirza sahib abhi tak gha,ib hain Khuda nkhasta meri koi baat buri lagi ho to maiN ma,azrat khaah hooN mera maqsad koi tanqeed nahi aap ko aik acha shair maanta hooN warna aap nay daekha ho ga keh kisi bhi qism ki bad mazgi say bachnay kay liay main hamaisha mukhtaser coments daeta hooN
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Post by Atif Mirza on Oct 23, 2007 16:08:21 GMT 5
Jee Ghaeb nahiN tha! Ghazal theek kar raha tha! Asl main garbar yeh huwi keh is ki taqtee main ghalti honay kay bawajood maiN nay doosri ghalati kar dali.
Behr hai
Fa'ilaatun, Fa'ilaatun, Fa'ilaatun, Fa'ilun Fa'ilaatun, Fa'ilaatun, Fa'ilaatun, Fa'ilun
Jabkeh matla kay ilawa ash'ar kay misra-e-ula main Fa'ilaatun, Fa'ilaatun, Fa'ilaatun, Fa'ilaat ho gaya! Jo keh aik ghalati hai, Har misray maiN aik aik rukn kum hai!
Theek honay kay baad Ghazal Hazir hai! Modify kar di gaiee hai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Atif Mirza on Oct 23, 2007 16:24:56 GMT 5
Ghazal caorrect kar kay Modify kar di hai, Aik she'r delete kia hai. Ab raay ka muntazir hooN. Shukria Tabassum Sahib aur Khalid Sahib! Aap kay mashwaray sar ankhoN per. Alhamd-u-Lillah tanqeed bardasht karnay ka hosla hai. Aur aap nay pehlay bhi aik do jaga per mulahiza kia hoga keh maiN achha mashwara abool karnay maiN dair nahiN lagata. Aap ka bahut bahut shukria!
Khair andaish
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Post by Rafi Tabasum on Oct 23, 2007 23:05:54 GMT 5
Boht bhar poor ghazal hay Atif Mirza sahib taba zaad mazah hay jissay main aalaa darjay ka mazah samjhta hooN lateefay manzoom kar laina meray khayal main adab ki koi khidmat nahi aik din aap ki ghazal jaisa mazah hi urooj haasil karay ga
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Post by Atif Mirza on Oct 24, 2007 16:26:36 GMT 5
Rafi sahib! Aap nay tareef kar kay mera dil barha diya hai. Asl maiN meray haaN sirf apnay khayal ki ehmiyat hai. MaiN apnay asli art "Calligraphy (Khattati)" maiN bhi kissi ko copy jarna pasand nahiN karta hooN. Issi tarah shaeri khas taur per mazah maiN bhi yehi Usool hai. Shukriya. Allah aap ka hami-o-nasir ho.
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Shaheen
rukn
From City of Eagles
Posts: 161
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Post by Shaheen on Oct 24, 2007 19:34:06 GMT 5
GUZARISHAAT Kha nahiN sakti akailay aam begum Dhoondti hai guthliyoN kay daam begum
Bailna matt marna sar per meray yooN Ho na jaay zindagi ki shaam begum
Baithnay day abb mujhay aaraam say too Kar chuka hooN ghar ka sara kaam begum
Jang si barpa hai roz-o-shab yahaN per Yeh hamara ghar hai ya hai laam begum
MaiN nay tau rakhkhi nahiN P A koi bhi Yeh hai bus tera khayal-e-khaam begum
MuddatoN say jaib khali hai meri tau Bhool ja ab saRhiyoN kay daam begum
Dard say bharpoor mairay qehqahay haiN Kar raha hooN yeh bhi tairay naam begumAtif Mirza ____________________________________________________ Laam = Maidan-e-Jang PA = Personal Assistent Kia guzarishaat hain mirza jee! Kia koi qabool bhi huwi hai ya yak tarfa karwai hai?
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Post by Atif Mirza on Oct 24, 2007 20:10:28 GMT 5
Tasleem Shud! Guzarishaat abhi tak qabool nahiN huweeN! Aur janab yeh lafz Karwai nahiN balkeh Kar-riwaiee hota hai! Umeed hai mind nahiN karain gay!
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Post by Atif Mirza on May 12, 2008 0:51:08 GMT 5
Aaap ka jawab?
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Post by waqaar on May 14, 2008 16:34:40 GMT 5
Atif SaaHeb, Bahut hii aChh~ii ghazal kahi hay aapnay. daad qubooliYay! lut^f aaYa paRh~ ker waQaar
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Post by Atif Mirza on May 14, 2008 19:22:35 GMT 5
Shukriya WaQaar Bhai! App ko guzarishaat pasand aaeeN, Daad ka bhi shukriya.
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