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Post by dilshad on May 30, 2008 18:24:20 GMT 5
aik ghazal aap tamaam dostoon ki nazr khaas taur par Akhtar Shumaar ki aamad ki nazr
har aik saaNs pay dhaRka kay Akhri to naheN milay dobara agar aysi zindagi to naheN
achanak Ana tumhara aur is qadar chahat kaheN ye dost meri Akhri khushi to naheN
to kiyoN na tujh say teri guftago hi ki jaey teray ilaawa yahaN mera koi bhi to naheN
ham ehl e ishq baRay waza daar hotay haeN hamari Ankh maeN dekho kahiN nami to naheN
faseelaeN chaTnay walay mujhay bataeN nadeem kahaeN zameen pay ye Akhri sadi to nahen
dua go Nadeem Bhabha nadeem sahib , salam _O_alaekum ,
aap ki khoobsurat gazal nazar nawaz huwi , bhai yaqeen janiye pahli baar aap ka klaam pad >hne ka itefaaq huwa , bahot muras_sa aur chust gazal hai , lehja aur klaam ki rawani kah rahi hai ke mashq_e_sukhan ko arsa huwa hai, meri janib se iss gazal par dher sari mubarak baad qabool farmaein , har aik saaNs pay dhaRka kay Akhri to naheN milay dobara agar aysi zindagi to naheN
matley ka ulaa micra bahot khoob hai aur chust hai , lekin cani misrey me aap ne mujh kam ilm ko mushkil me daal diya , mile ,,,dubara ,,, agar ,, yeh tukrey meri samajh me aane se qasir hain , baat saaf nahi huwi ? aap kahena keya chahte hain , wazahat farmaein tou nawazish hogi !!!!! keya aap kahnna chahte hain ke ,,, agar dubara zindagi mili tou aesi hi tou nahi mile gi , ya kuch aur !!!
achanak Ana tumhara aur is qadar chahat kaheN ye dost meri Akhri khushi to naheN
ach_cha sher hai . besakha kaha gaya lagta hai , rawani hai sher me . kahein koi gunjlak aur jhol nahi , bahot khoob
to kiyoN na tujh say teri guftago hi ki jaey teray ilaawa yahaN mera koi bhi to naheN yeh sher bhi aap ne bahot kamal ka kaha hai , ke pahela lafz hi aesa chuna ke jis ke baad qari ki dilchaspi sher ko pad>hne ke liye mazeed bad>h jaey , tou kiyo'n na ,,, ka tukra misre me jaan dalta nazar aata hai , aur iss tarah kahene ka saleeqa jab kisi me dar aaey tou woh bahot se shoa_ara se kuch munfarid nazar aane lagta hai , daaad qabool kijiye .
ham ehl e ishq baRay waza daar hotay haeN hamari Ankh maeN dekho kahiN nami to naheN
ulaa micra bahot khoob hai , magar aap ne cani me sirf eak aankh dekhne ki hi baat ki hai , jab ke aap kah rahe hain ke hamari aankh me dekho !!!! hamari kah kar aankh ke aansoo deklhney ki baat ho rahi hai , agar aap yon kahtey ke
hamari aankho'n me dekhein !! kahein nami tou nahi ?? tou shayed mere khayal se baat kuch behtar lagti .. khaer aap ne kuch soch kar hi yo'n kaha hoga ,
faseelaeN chaTnay walay mujhay bataeN nadeem kahaeN zameen pay ye Akhri sadi to nahen
jaesa ke peshan goiyo'n aur ahaadeec aur qayamat ki nishaniyon ke zariya jo kuch maloomat ham tak pahonchi hai , uss ke mutabiq yeh sher apni ma_ani se kuch door door hai technicaly bhi yeh mumkin nahi ke yajooj majooj ka suraagh kisi ko mil gaya ho ?? ya kisi ne maoujoodah dour me uss qoam ki nishandahi ki ho , aur woh yani yajooj majooj kisi ko batane se rahe !! ke zameen par yeh aakhri sadi hai , tou phir yeh sher kon sa mazmoon apne anadar samoey huwey hai , ??wallah alm ..
nadeem sahib , aap ki gazal par yeh mera sirf tabsara hai , wallah meri aesi koi neeyet nahi ke aap ki dilshikni ho ya tanqeed ke hawaley se khud ko bartar sabit karne ki sa_ee ho .
bas jo kuch mahsoos kiya , usse main ne ussi halat me lafzo'n me dhaal diya , saafgoi hai yeh na ke tanqeed , umeed hai aap apni wazahato'n se mujh kam ilm ke ilm me izafa karein gein .
mukhlis
dilshadnazmi
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Post by nadeem on May 31, 2008 2:20:57 GMT 5
muhtram dilshad nazmi wa alikum us salam pehli martaba aap say hamkalaam ho raha hoon maen shairi kay ilm ka talib hoon aur jahan say bhi milta hai usay fauran seekhnay ki koshish karta hoon is bazm maen bahut say loogon say mulaqaat kar kay meray ilm maen izafa howa aaj aap say mulaqaat bhi is hawalay say bharpoor rahi ghazal par is tawajjo ka bayhad shukriya baqi jo aitraazaat aap naen uthaey haen wo bahut say doston naen nahen uthaey is liey jamhori taqazoon ko madd e nazar rakhtay howay hi maen kissi nateejay par pahunch sakta hoon kiyon kay meray zehn maen jo tha wo ghazal ko sorat maen aap kay samnay hai bilkul wesay jesay aap naen mehsoos kiya aur likh diya maen naen bhi jo mehsoos kiya likh diya Allah Saeen aap kay ilm maen mazeed izafa farmaen
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Post by dilshad on May 31, 2008 18:44:33 GMT 5
muhtram dilshad nazmi wa alikum us salam pehli martaba aap say hamkalaam ho raha hoon maen shairi kay ilm ka talib hoon aur jahan say bhi milta hai usay fauran seekhnay ki koshish karta hoon is bazm maen bahut say loogon say mulaqaat kar kay meray ilm maen izafa howa aaj aap say mulaqaat bhi is hawalay say bharpoor rahi ghazal par is tawajjo ka bayhad shukriya baqi jo aitraazaat aap naen uthaey haen wo bahut say doston naen nahen uthaey is liey jamhori taqazoon ko madd e nazar rakhtay howay hi maen kissi nateejay par pahunch sakta hoon kiyon kay meray zehn maen jo tha wo ghazal ko sorat maen aap kay samnay hai bilkul wesay jesay aap naen mehsoos kiya aur likh diya maen naen bhi jo mehsoos kiya likh diya Allah Saeen aap kay ilm maen mazeed izafa farmaen [ b]bhai . nadeem
salam _o_alaekum ,
bahot suljha huwa jawab aap ne inayet kiya , shukriya . main bhi yehi chahta hoon ke har koi apni kawish ko mukhtalif nuqta_e_nigaah se parakh le aur mukhtalif logo'n ke khayalat uss takhleeq ke hawaley se yekja kar le tab kisi nateejey par pahonchey , a_aen mumkin hai ke jo baat mujhe samajh nahi aa rahi ho usse koi dusra wazah kar de , yahaan ham har kisi se kuch na kuch seekhte hain , yehi jazba hamare qalam ko mazeed rawani ata karta hai
khush rahein dilshadnazmi[/b][/color]
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Post by saeed on Jun 2, 2008 6:36:15 GMT 5
Nadeem sb,
piyari kavish hai. yeh ashaar buhut achey lagey
achanak Ana tumhara aur is qadar chahat kaheN ye dost meri Akhri khushi to naheN
to kiyoN na tujh say teri guftago hi ki jaey teray ilaawa yahaN mera koi bhi to naheN
dheroN daad. khush raho.
saeed
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Post by nadeem on Jun 8, 2008 17:47:24 GMT 5
Muhtram Saeed Bhai salamtian bahut dino say masroof tha is liey bazm ko baqaida waqt naheen day saka aaj yahan say guzar howa to aap ka tabsra dekha bahut khushi hoi aap naen ghazal ko pasand kiya Allah Saeen aap ko salamat rakhay
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Post by Aqeel Malik on Jun 15, 2008 10:14:48 GMT 5
achanak Ana tumhara aur is qadar chahat kaheN ye dost meri Akhri khushi to naheN
bay sakhta jon ka sher yad agia ke
bahut nazdeek hoty jarahy ho bicharnay ka irada kar lia kia
majmoe taur par umda ghazal hay
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Post by Atif Mirza on Jun 20, 2008 8:55:30 GMT 5
Nadeem Bhai! Takheer say lkhnay ki maazrat maiN zaraa waqt nikaal kar likhnaa chaahtaa tha, aaj muyassar ayaa tau moqay say faeda uthaa kar hazair hooN.
Bahut umdaa ghazal irshad ki hai aap nay, pehlay tau bay saakhtaa daad dena mujh per lazim hai. Qabool kijiay.
Aap kay aik sher per Dilshad Nazmi Sb nay etraaz uthaya, unn say mukhatib ho kar kahoN ga keh sher kay doosray miSray maiN koi kharaabi nahiN bus aik comma daalnay sai matlab wazah ho jaay ga: -
Nadeem Sb nay likha hai: "milay dobara agar aysi zindagi to naheN"
Jabkeh asl maiN matlab wazeh aisay ho ga: "milay dobara agar aysi zindagi, to naheN"
ANkh wala point per mili juli raay hai.
Nadeem Bhai! Albatta Maqtay per Nazmi sahib say muttafiq hooN, kiyooN keh "Yajooj Majooj" ki kia majaal keh woh aakhri Sadi ki jaankaari rakhaiN.
Bhai koshish ki hai jahaN mujhay Nazmi sahib say ittefaaq nahiN tha wahaN aap ki himaayat karooN aur jahaN mujhay aap say ittefaaq nahiN aur Nazmi sb ka point theek hai, unn say muttafiq ho kar aap say guzaarish karooN. Aap ki raay ka intezaar rahay ga. Umee hai keh khulay dil say jawab inayaat hoga aur Nazmi sahib kay post say aap jaisay daaman chuRa kar nikal gaay waisa meray saath nahiN karaiN gay.
Aap ka Multan kab aanaa hoga? Koi waqt nikaalaiN aur Multan Literary Club maiN tashreef laiN. Khushi ho gi.
Dua go!
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Post by nadeem on Jun 26, 2008 3:23:46 GMT 5
piyaray Atif salam yajooj majooj jis sadi maen dewaar gira laen gay wo aakhri sadi ho gi aur ab un kay nazdeek wo har sham yeh samajh kar sotay haen keh kal deewaar khatm ho jaey gi lekin aglay rooz wo deewaar phir wapas apni halat par aa jati hai ilm ki yeh satah makhlooq ko ata ki gai hai keh wo qiyaas kar sakta hai is sher ko yoon dekhaen keh rooz shaam aik aakhri sadi ka ailaan hai
ab pata nahen aap ittifaaq kartay haen ya nahen lekin maen is riwayat ko aisay hi janta hoon
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