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Post by Atif Mirza on Jun 20, 2008 23:49:24 GMT 5
Sahibaan-e-Zoq ki nazar aik ghazal! Muntazir rahooN ga aap ki qeemti raay ka. MaiN faraib khurda-e-rah-guzar, mujhay rah-guzar ki talaash hai Kabhi kaarvaaN, kabhi hum-safar, kabhi raah-bar ki talaash hai
Woh jo sub say rakhta thaa rabtaa, woh jo hur kisi ka rafeeq thaa Pa khabar meri jo na rakh sakaa, ussi bay-khabar ki talaash hai
Mujhay bijliyoN say milay amaaN, banay dhoop maiN bhi woh saebaaN Mera aashiyaaN bhi basay jahaaN, mujha uss shajar ki talaash hai
KahiN saNg-o-khaar kay silsilay, kahiN kuhr maiN basay raastay Meray rah-rawan-e-safar huway, mujhay ab safar ki talaash hai
Kissi aur ka na pataa rahay, mera dil ussi say lagaa rahay Mera sar jahaN peh jhukaa rahay, kissi aisay dar ki talaash hai
BaRi mehnatoN say banaa thaa jo, baRi mushkiloN say sajaa thaa jo Woh tabaah tum nay kiaa thaa jo, ussi bikhray ghar ki talaash hai
Woh jo teergi say nikaal day, meri raat ko jo ujaal day Nayee roshni ko kamaal day, ab ussi saHar ki talaash hai
Yeh Haqeeqat-e-shab-e-hijr hai, keh Taweel hai yehi fikr hai Keh judaaiyoN ka hi zikr hai, shab-e-mukhtaSar ki talaash hai
Wohi Atif ab hai yahiN kahiN, woh jo baat kehta hai dilnashiN Ussay jaantaa pa koi nahiN, ussay deeda-war ki talaash hai
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Post by Rafi Tabasum on Jun 21, 2008 1:06:15 GMT 5
Khoobsoorat aur murasa ghazal Atif Mirza sahib composing ki ghalati aap kay fan par koi asar nahi dalti aap ki ghazal par garift aap ki qaderulklami ki daleel hay
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Post by Zagham Abidi on Jun 21, 2008 15:08:03 GMT 5
atif sahib bohot umda ghazal kahi aap nay.qayam-e-pakistan say phalay aur forun bad jin masail ka samna tha aur pakistan ki badolat jin k hal honay ki umeed bandhi thi aur chand kush fehem aaj bhi umeed lagai bethay hay aur phir jis kerb say guzartay hain aap nay acchi terjamani ki hay is ghazal k baz ashaar main .muslan ye ashar MAIN FARAIB GHORDA-E-RAHGUZAR aur MUJHAY BIJLION SAY MILAY AMAN aur BARI MAHNATON SAY BANA THA JO aur wo jo teergi say nikal day
isi bat ki terjamani ker rahay hain. shaher aashob hain. acchi ghazal likhnay per mubarakbad qabool kijiay
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Post by Atif Mirza on Jun 21, 2008 16:26:21 GMT 5
Khoobsoorat aur murasa ghazal Atif Mirza sahib composing ki ghalati aap kay fan par koi asar nahi dalti aap ki ghazal par garift aap ki qaderulklami ki daleel hay Rafi Sahib Aap ki itni hosla mand daad say meray etimaad maiN izafaa huwa. Aap kay khoob soorat alfaaz ka bahut shukriya!
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Post by Atif Mirza on Jun 22, 2008 16:17:44 GMT 5
Atif sahib bohot umda ghazal kahi aap nay.qayam-e-pakistan say phalay aur forun bad jin masail ka samna tha aur pakistan ki badolat jin k hal honay ki umeed bandhi thi aur chand kush fehem aaj bhi umeed lagai bethay hay aur phir jis kerb say guzartay hain aap nay acchi terjamani ki hay is ghazal k baz ashaar main .muslan ye ashar MAIN FARAIB GHORDA-E-RAHGUZAR aur MUJHAY BIJLION SAY MILAY AMAN aur BARI MAHNATON SAY BANA THA JO aur Wo jo teergi say nikal day isi bat ki terjamani ker rahay hain. shaher aashob hain. acchi ghazal likhnay per mubarakbad qabool kijiay Zaigham Sb! AAp nay jiss soch ka zikr kia hai aur jiss andaaz say meri iss ghazal ki wazahat ki hai wo tau meray khayaal say bhi baRh kar hai. AAp ki bay panah taareef ka bahut shukriya.
Aap ki apni shaeri ka intezar hai.
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Post by Akif Ghani Malik on Jun 22, 2008 17:26:02 GMT 5
Aatif Jee, Tasleemat! Bahut khoobSoorat ghazal, aik aik sher muta'çur karne wala.DherooN daaaad. w.s Akif
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Post by Atif Mirza on Jun 22, 2008 18:40:14 GMT 5
Aatif Jee, Tasleemat! Bahut khoobSoorat ghazal, aik aik sher muta'çµ² karne wala.DherooN daaaad. w.s Akif Akif Bhai! Itni baRi daad ka bahut ziyadaa mamnoon hooN. Aap nay ghazal per khoobsoorat tabsra kia jiss ka az-hadd shukriya.
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Post by suhailabbaskhan on Jun 22, 2008 19:27:59 GMT 5
atif gee phishlay 29 baras say ghazal ka talib ilm huoon.mera pusundeeda mozoo tafheem e matan hay.aap ki ghazal wazan main hay Mutfaelun Mutfaelun Mutfaelun Mutfaelun lakin iss ghazal ko zara kasnay ki zarurat hay.muslan "tabah" ki jagah "burbad" ka mahal tha kunkah berbaad main bikharnay ka sath sath tabahii ka emal bhii huta hay.kunkeh jo cheez hawa per hoti hay 1.uss ka thikana na maloom hota hay 2.tabahii ka emal na maloom hota hay. takrar ki 2 kismain hain jiss main sirf aik takrar e haseen hoti hay dosri naheen.aap ki ghazal main kaii jaga takrar ki zarurat naheen thii. aap ki ghazal main kaii alfaz "hashw" hain inn say jaan churain. main nay "urdu shaaery main islah e sakun ki rawayat" per PhD kii hay(punjab university).agar pasand kareen tu majliss taraqii adab lahore nay woh maqala shaya ki hay.uss main in batoon ki tafseel hay woh mulahiza ferma lain.wasay zooq ibtaii derja hay Ananad verdhan kay mutabik "thawani" dusara derja hay.shayad mera zooq taraqi ker gya hay iss leay na sirf main nay khud shaaery turk ker dee hay.(kunkeh emomo shaery thii)balkeh meri buri adat ho gaii hay keh mein emoomi shaery per daad bhii naheen day sakta.agar koii lafz sakhat ho tu pashgee mazrat kha hoon.
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Post by Atif Mirza on Jun 22, 2008 22:18:44 GMT 5
atif gee phishlay 29 baras say ghazal ka talib ilm huoon.mera pusundeeda mozoo tafheem e matan hay.aap ki ghazal wazan main hay Mutfaelun Mutfaelun Mutfaelun Mutfaelun lakin iss ghazal ko zara kasnay ki zarurat hay.muslan "tabah" ki jagah "burbad" ka mahal tha kunkah berbaad main bikharnay ka sath sath tabahii ka emal bhii huta hay.kunkeh jo cheez hawa per hoti hay 1.uss ka thikana na maloom hota hay 2.tabahii ka emal na maloom hota hay. takrar ki 2 kismain hain jiss main sirf aik takrar e haseen hoti hay dosri naheen.aap ki ghazal main kaii jaga takrar ki zarurat naheen thii. aap ki ghazal main kaii alfaz "hashw" hain inn say jaan churain. main nay "urdu shaaery main islah e sakun ki rawayat" per PhD kii hay(punjab university).agar pasand kareen tu majliss taraqii adab lahore nay woh maqala shaya ki hay.uss main in batoon ki tafseel hay woh mulahiza ferma lain.wasay zooq ibtaii derja hay Ananad verdhan kay mutabik "thawani" dusara derja hay.shayad mera zooq taraqi ker gya hay iss leay na sirf main nay khud shaaery turk ker dee hay.(kunkeh emomo shaery thii)balkeh meri buri adat ho gaii hay keh mein emoomi shaery per daad bhii naheen day sakta.agar koii lafz sakhat ho tu pashgee mazrat kha hoon. Dr SuhaiL Sahib! Ghazal per tawaajah farmaanay kay liay mamnoon hooN.
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Post by Sukhanwar on Jun 23, 2008 11:30:00 GMT 5
aatif sahab boht umda ghazal hy aap sy guzarish hy k image k saath saath roman bhi dia karain main do roz sy ghazal open karna chahta tha magar image saamnay nahi aa raha tha agar roman bhi hota to yeh mushkil na hoti ghazal aik khaaas kayfiat ki hay aur lutf dati hay khaas taur par aysay misray pya khabar meri jo na rakh saka usi bay khabar ki talash hy takhleeqi taur par aik mazboot kaawish hay daad qabool kijiay thanx razi
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Post by Sukhanwar on Jun 23, 2008 11:33:26 GMT 5
atif gee phishlay 29 baras say ghazal ka talib ilm huoon.mera pusundeeda mozoo tafheem e matan hay.aap ki ghazal wazan main hay Mutfaelun Mutfaelun Mutfaelun Mutfaelun lakin iss ghazal ko zara kasnay ki zarurat hay.muslan "tabah" ki jagah "burbad" ka mahal tha kunkah berbaad main bikharnay ka sath sath tabahii ka emal bhii huta hay.kunkeh jo cheez hawa per hoti hay 1.uss ka thikana na maloom hota hay 2.tabahii ka emal na maloom hota hay. takrar ki 2 kismain hain jiss main sirf aik takrar e haseen hoti hay dosri naheen.aap ki ghazal main kaii jaga takrar ki zarurat naheen thii. aap ki ghazal main kaii alfaz "hashw" hain inn say jaan churain. main nay "urdu shaaery main islah e sakun ki rawayat" per PhD kii hay(punjab university).agar pasand kareen tu majliss taraqii adab lahore nay woh maqala shaya ki hay.uss main in batoon ki tafseel hay woh mulahiza ferma lain.wasay zooq ibtaii derja hay Ananad verdhan kay mutabik "thawani" dusara derja hay.shayad mera zooq taraqi ker gya hay iss leay na sirf main nay khud shaaery turk ker dee hay.(kunkeh emomo shaery thii)balkeh meri buri adat ho gaii hay keh mein emoomi shaery per daad bhii naheen day sakta.agar koii lafz sakhat ho tu pashgee mazrat kha hoon. suhail sahab mujhy khushi hui aap ki yeh post daykh kar aap nay jis tafseel sy ghazal par baat ki yaqeenan atif sahab ko bhi pasand aai meri guzarish hy k aap ghazlon par isi tara fan k hawalay sy etil main baat kia karain k is sy is bazm k husn main izaafa ho ga thanx razi
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Post by nazghazal on Jun 23, 2008 14:12:58 GMT 5
Sahibaan-e-Zoq ki nazar aik ghazal! Muntazir rahooN ga aap ki qeemti raay ka.Note:
- Ghazal naay Image kay saath hazir hai.
- Typing ki ghalatiyaN bhi durust kardi gayee haiN.
aadaab janab atif sahab! kese mizaaj hain janab? kaafi din se sukhanwar forum main login na ho sakne ki problem se dochaar rahi. razi sahab ko bhi is silsile main kafi zehmat di k wo kuch help karain or unki nawaazish hai k unhon ne bhi hatt ul maqdoor hamari madad ki. aaj achanak hi forum ko ham pe taras aa hi gaya or ham online hone main kaamyaab ho hi gaye. baat darasal ye thi k ham online nazar to aate thay par koi reply nahi send kar pa rahay thay or isi waja se aapki tehreer pe kuch likhne main bhi taakheer hui. ab aate hain aapki ghazal ki taraf aap ki ghazal is qadar pasand aai k aap yaqeen karain ham ne kai kai baar ise parha or har baar lutf andoz hue. aapki ghazal ka har har sher apni misaal aap hai. bohot hi dil ko chhoone wali threer hai ye aapki. ham aap ko itni achi tehreer pe dhairon daad paish karte hain khush rahiye hamaisha naz ghazal
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Post by Atif Mirza on Jun 23, 2008 15:58:55 GMT 5
aatif sahab boht umda ghazal hy aap sy guzarish hy k image k saath saath roman bhi dia karain main do roz sy ghazal open karna chahta tha magar image saamnay nahi aa raha tha agar roman bhi hota to yeh mushkil na hoti ghazal aik khaaas kayfiat ki hay aur lutf dati hay khaas taur par aysay misray pya khabar meri jo na rakh saka usi bay khabar ki talash hy takhleeqi taur par aik mazboot kaawish hay daad qabool kijiay thanx razi Razi Shahib! Pehlay tau aap ka shukriya adaa karta hooN keh aap kay hoSla afzaa alfaaz ki badolat kuch khushi haSil huwi. Aap kay hukm kay mutabiq ghazal Roman Urdu maiN likh di gayee hai. Ab aur dost bhi paRh kar raay inayat farmaiN tau unn ki nawazish ho gi. Image shayad iss liay nahiN khul raha tha keh uss waqt maiN image change karnay kay maraHil maiN tha. Size maiN farq aanay ki wajah say taqreeban tamaam kaam 3 baar karna paRa. Aap ko jo koft huwi uss kay liay maiN maazrat khwah hooN.
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Post by Atif Mirza on Jun 23, 2008 16:29:30 GMT 5
suhail sahab mujhy khushi hui aap ki yeh post daykh kar aap nay jis tafseel sy ghazal par baat ki yaqeenan atif sahab ko bhi pasand aai meri guzarish hy k aap ghazlon par isi tara fan k hawalay sy etil main baat kia karain k is sy is bazm k husn main izaafa ho ga thanx razi Razi Shahib! Suhail Sahib agar munaasib khayaal karaiN tau woh aik thread shuroo karaiN jiss maiN hamari rah-numaee kay liay apnay qeemti ilm say kuch ataa farmaeiN. Iss maiN sub say pehlay Urdu kay qawaed, ghazal ki haeit, ghazal kay naqaes, hushw, tanafur waghaira per apni maaloomaat aur muhasilaat hamaiN bata saktay haiN, Iss say hum sub seekhnay waloN ka faeda ho jaay ga.
Kia Suhail Sahib iss guzarish ko tasleem karaiN gay, iss kay liay aap ki sifaarish ki bhi zaroorat hai.
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Post by suhailabbaskhan on Jun 23, 2008 20:19:58 GMT 5
atif gee aap ki ghazal main bazahir koii naqs naheen hay.lakin aap jantay hain keh ghazal aik geelay kapray ki tarah hoti hay jitna nichoortay jaian faltoo panii nikalta jata hay or akhir main itni kasii aa jati hay jisay sehl e mumtanaaa kehtay hain.agar aap iss per mehnat karain tu achay ghazal goo kay toor per apna nam bana saktay hain.jub ghazal main mushafii, insha waghara jasay shair tesray chotay derjay kah shair hoon tu iss main maqaam banana kitna mushkil hay.aap apni sifarish aap hain aap ko shifarish ki zarurat naheen.main aap ko misala inpage main email ker diya karoon ga.app kant chant kay baad issay paste ker sakeain tu inayat ho gii.asal main yahan japan main log 12 ghantay kam kertay hain.daerh ghantay ka aik period hota hay.main bhii subh sat bajay university jata hoon or sham sat bajay aata hoon.yahaan arooz per aik project chal raha hay uss main urdu or hindi donoon departments ki rehnumaii meray zemay hay.aik nisabi kitab bhii university kay liey tayar kar rha hoon.iss kay elawa bhii bhht say kam hain.fursat ka mara hoon.kia karoon iss tarah kay milay hain bakht suhail aik hay jaan or hazaroon gham namunay kay lieay sirf aik sher per islah tajweez ki hay ager pasand aaey tu qabool fermain wena aik nakis mashwara samagh ker nazar andaz ker dain. berbaad ker keh he rakh diya,wo tu andhoon he ki zad peh tha ab der badr phiroon kahan, mujay bikhray ghar ki talash hay yeh bhii koii qabl e rashk sher naheen hay.iss ko abhi or kas saktay hain.meri murad sirf yeh hay keh shaer ko wazan ya qafyeh kay hatoon mujboor naheen hona chaey.yeh saherana ijz hay or aib hay.aap yeh na sumjhain keh falan lufz wazan main naheen aa raha.shaer wo hota hay jiss kah aagay lufz hath bandh ker kharay hotay hain or iltajah bharii nazroon say daikhtay hain keh woh kisay chunta hay.shad azimabadi ka shaer hai dur e muzmoon koii yoon gondh lay a shad muskil hay salika intaha ka chaeay moti paroonay main urdu qawaid ki kitaboon main aik lufz hay "muktaza e haal" her lafz ka aik maqam hota hay.jasay urdu main dur keh dus kay qareeb lafz hain dur,sansa,bhachak,undaysha,khoof waghara in keh istaymaal ki aik mehel hay. aap nay ager bikharnay ka lafz istamaal kia tha tu iss keh sath tabah naheen balkeh burbaad ka mahel tha.asal main log itnii baywazan chezain kehtay hain keh ab wazan main sher kehna bhii aik khoobii bun gya hay.raat keh sawa bara buj gaey hain,baqii phir.................
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